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Articles by getdown1st

getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Police quotes   12/19/2009

16. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'

15. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'

0 Comments, 98 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE PSYCHOLOGICALLY CHALLENGED...   12/19/2009

* 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

* 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

* 3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

*


0 Comments, 56 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
From Grace   10/15/2009

Something to think about.....

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfri


0 Comments, 67 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
THE JOURNEY OF A MAN   10/15/2009

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
<


0 Comments, 117 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
HELL EXPLAINED   10/15/2009

Hell Explained..... BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT





The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a stude


0 Comments, 129 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
NEVER CHEAT ON A SOUTHERN WOMAN !   10/12/2009

A Southern wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With super-human strength, borne of fury, and cutting firewood power, she dragged him by the willy down the stairs


0 Comments, 137 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Passport   8/8/2009

Dear sirs,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a cable t.v. from


0 Comments, 95 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
THE GOOD LIFE OF A COWBOY   8/8/2009

EBERT WALTERS JUNE 14, 2009 DURING HIS CHILDHOOD, EBERT "SONNY" WALTERS WAS COUNSELED BY HIS TOUGH OLD COWBOY GRANDFATHER THAT IF HE WANTED TO LIVE A LONG LIFE, THE SECRET WAS TO SPRINKLE A PINCH OF G


0 Comments, 62 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Florida Supermarket   7/15/2009

A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manage


0 Comments, 102 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Solve this Mystery!!!!   6/28/2009

A detective story........... So Pay Close Attention!!!

.... Three ladies are excited about seeing their first baseball game.

They smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniel's into the ball park


0 Comments, 92 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Black Testicles   6/24/2009

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure. A young student nurse appears to g


0 Comments, 103 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Little Ralphy On Math   6/24/2009

A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?' She calls on little Ralphy.



He replies, 'None, they will all fly


0 Comments, 75 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Farm Girl Birth Control   5/11/2009

There were three gals who were getting married and all met at the marriage counselor's office to discuss the options of having or not having a baby right away. There were two city gals and one farm ga


0 Comments, 209 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Drafting Guys over 60!   5/7/2009

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've g


0 Comments, 87 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Blonde cop position   4/28/2009

Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the WV Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, 'So y'all want to be cops, huh?'


0 Comments, 160 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
The Saring of Marriage   4/28/2009

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He then


0 Comments, 96 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Da End Be Near   4/28/2009

Reverend Boudreaux was the part-time pastor of the local Cajun Baptist Church and Pastor Thibodaux was the minister of the Covenant Church across the road.

They were both standing by the roa


0 Comments, 74 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Bible & a Haircut   4/28/2009

A young boy had just gotten his driver's permit and inquired of his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his .





"You bring


0 Comments, 83 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Happy Mental Health Day!   4/21/2009

The love story of Ralph and Edna...

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in


0 Comments, 70 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
some women   4/21/2009

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, '


0 Comments, 120 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Great one liners....   4/6/2009

* I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

* FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! Except that one where you're naked in public.

* Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough. <


0 Comments, 123 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Old Biker   4/6/2009

An old biker, on a summer ride in the country, walks into a tavern and sees a sign hanging over the bar, which reads:

CHEESEBURGER2.50

HAMBURGER2.25

CHICKEN SANDWICH3.


0 Comments, 165 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
The Night of April 1st   4/6/2009

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady: I am 71 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April


0 Comments, 146 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Confucius Say::::::   4/6/2009

Confucius Say... War not dertimined who right~ War dertimined who left.

Confucius Say... If you want pretty nurse~ You got to be patient.

Confucius Say... To meet girl in a park is g


0 Comments, 106 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
11 people hangin'   3/24/2009

11 PEOPLE ON A ROPE Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter. 10 men and 1 woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, because other


0 Comments, 117 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Deaf Bookkeeper   3/24/2009

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks.

His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place.

It was assume


0 Comments, 104 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
HELL   3/24/2009

HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT: The following is an actual question given on University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared i


0 Comments, 97 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Potentially and Realistically   3/23/2009

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'

The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother i


0 Comments, 76 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
the last nickel   3/23/2009

A father walks into a restaurant with his young . He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father real


0 Comments, 82 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
2 Dwarfs   3/23/2009

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two 'working girls' and take them to their separate hotel rooms.

The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made w


0 Comments, 89 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
AN IRISH BLONDE IN A CASINO   3/23/2009

An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty- thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice.



She said, "I hope you don


0 Comments, 100 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
georgia farmer   3/22/2009

A farmer was selling his peaches door to door. He knocked on a door and a shapely 30 something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her the peaches


0 Comments, 121 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
9 words women use!   3/22/2009

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is on


0 Comments, 75 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
A Blonde Moment   12/9/2008

One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink.

Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered


0 Comments, 136 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
adult riddles!   12/6/2008

Q. What is the difference between a Drug Dealer and a ?

A. A can wash her crack and sell it again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What's a mixed feeling?




0 Comments, 93 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
2009 tax code   11/21/2008

The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is piss


0 Comments, 66 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Jack Schitt   11/21/2008

Well here is the story! For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy effort


0 Comments, 51 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Getting Old   10/30/2008

4 old mischievous Grandmas were sitting at a table in a nursing home.About then an old Grandpa walked in.

One of the old Grandma's yelled out saying, 'We bet we can tell exactly how old you a


0 Comments, 95 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Get Serious   10/30/2008

Two elderly residents, a man and a woman, were sitting alone in the lobby of their nursing home one evening.

The old man looked over and said to the old lady, " I know just what you're wantin


0 Comments, 85 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Investment tips for 2008   10/15/2008

For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations later this year: <


0 Comments, 57 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
After Vegas   10/14/2008

Three buddies decided to take their wives on a week-long vacation to Las Vegas. The week flew by and they all had a great time. After they returned home and the men went back to work, the men sat arou


0 Comments, 124 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Redneck Hunter....   10/6/2008

10 Ways To Tell You Might Be A Redneck Hunter if:

1. Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

2. You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.

3. You've ever b


0 Comments, 65 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Top Ten Country Song List   10/1/2008

Top Ten Country & Western Songs.

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine

9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few

8. If The Phone Don't Ri


0 Comments, 47 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Pfizer Announcement   9/29/2008

Pfizer Corp. Announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to


0 Comments, 62 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Keep 'em guessing!!!!   9/29/2008

Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential down pou


0 Comments, 73 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Alien Sex!   9/25/2008

Farmer Brown and his wife were working in the field one day about dusk. As they were heading back to the house they saw a bunch of strange lights way out in the field. Upon ariving Farmer Brown and hi


0 Comments, 98 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Surgeons Opinions   9/14/2008

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon, from New York , says, I like to see accountants on my operating table because when y


0 Comments, 45 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
The Zipper   9/13/2008

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed an


0 Comments, 70 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
School...1958 vs 2008   9/13/2008

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack. 1958 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun


0 Comments, 81 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
10 thoughts to ponder.....   9/13/2008

Number 10 Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see hi


0 Comments, 51 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Magic Beer   9/9/2008

A lady walks into a bar and sees a really good-looking guy sitting at the bar by himself. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking. "Magic Beer, " he says. She thinks he's a little crazy, so


0 Comments, 70 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
's Science Exam   9/9/2008

Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it re


0 Comments, 48 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Polite Ways to Say Your Zipper is Down   9/9/2008

10. The cucumber has left the salad.

9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.

8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.


0 Comments, 27 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Quote for the day!   9/9/2008

Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. I


0 Comments, 28 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
The Moped & Ferrari   9/4/2008

An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, Pulls up next to a doctor at a street light. The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car And asks, ' What kind of car ya got there, sonny?' Th


0 Comments, 83 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Gone Fishin'   8/27/2008

A young guy from Mississippi moves to New York and goes to a big 'everything underone roof' department store looking for a job. The Manager says, 'Do you have any sales experience?' The says 'Yeah.


0 Comments, 63 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Final Answer!   8/27/2008

Who Wants To be A Millionaire ???



My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'


0 Comments, 66 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
The Divorced Barbie Doll   8/24/2008

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his 's birthday.

He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, "How much for one of those Barbie


0 Comments, 59 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Vodka....   8/18/2008

1. To remove a bandage without pain saturate the bandage with vodka. The stuff dissolves adhesive. 2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray t


0 Comments, 30 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Redneck Pick-up lines   8/18/2008

1.Did you fart? cuz you blew me away. 2. Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special. 3. My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in. 4. Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like


0 Comments, 39 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Deaf Wife?   8/17/2008

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doc


0 Comments, 56 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
The Vet   8/17/2008

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church?found a pink envelope containing $1, 000. It happened again the next week!

The following Sunday, he watc


0 Comments, 87 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Lone Ranger & Silver   8/17/2008

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war party. The Indian Chief proclaims, 'So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three


0 Comments, 69 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Ole and Sven & The Sears Catalog   8/13/2008

Two redneck young men from up in Minnesota were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models.

Ole says to the Sven "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?" Sven replies, "Ye


0 Comments, 46 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Summer Romance   8/13/2008

As I lay on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night.

You came to me unexpectedly during the calm and balmy night, an


0 Comments, 34 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Free Sex with Fill-Up!   8/9/2008

A gas station owner in Mississippi was trying to increase his sales. So he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.' Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free


0 Comments, 66 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Sex in the Shower   8/9/2008

In a recent survey, people from Chicago, Detroit, Florida Keys, Mesa, have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower!

In the survey, carried out for leading toiletries firm


0 Comments, 33 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Computer: Male or Female?   8/9/2008

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil, ' h


0 Comments, 27 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Shopping Wisdom   8/9/2008

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart and the husband picks up a case of Budweiser andputs it in their shopping cart. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sal


0 Comments, 32 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN   8/9/2008

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful! Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for some


0 Comments, 49 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Dear Abby Stumped......!   8/7/2008

DEAR ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING:

Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social wo


0 Comments, 98 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Senior thoughts...   8/6/2008

We are Valuable!! We are more valuable than any of the younger generations: We have silver in our hair, We have gold in our teeth. We have stones in our kidneys. We have lead in our feet. And We are l


0 Comments, 46 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
What is Love...   8/6/2008

What Love means to a 4-8 year old.... A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?' Touching words from the mouth of babes. ................


0 Comments, 69 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
BUTT Icons!!!!   8/1/2008

We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons, ' where:

means a smile and

is a frown.

Sometimes these are represented by



<


0 Comments, 50 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
new ears!   8/1/2008

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secre


0 Comments, 68 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Condoms   7/30/2008

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old .They happen to walk by the condom display, and theBoy asks, "What are these, Dad?"To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condom


0 Comments, 56 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Ghost Sex?????   7/25/2008

A professor at the University of Kentucky was giving a lecture on the supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, 'How many people here believe in ghosts?'

About 90 studen


0 Comments, 87 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
The wedding of the Wongs!   7/25/2008

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.

'Congratulations, ' says the n


0 Comments, 61 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Two Aliens!   7/21/2008

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come


0 Comments, 147 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
The Middle Finger   7/21/2008

The History of the Middle Finger!!!! Well, now, here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too,


0 Comments, 52 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Koala Story!   7/18/2008

A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, "Hey Koala! What are you doing?" The koala said, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some." So th


0 Comments, 57 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Uses for Vinegar...   7/17/2008

COOKING...

To make basic vinaigrette salad dressing use 1 part white distilled vinegar to 4 parts oil.

Make creamy vinaigrette by adding some plain or whipped cream to a mixture of 1


0 Comments, 56 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
outraged about the gay, lesbian news....   7/15/2008

Do YOU Remember a year and a half ago....

on the news they stated that there are 2600 ("that they know of", lol) gays & lesbians serving our country? they failed to count the bi's? they dont


0 Comments, 60 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
signs of ovarian cancer   7/15/2008

I just received this very informative e-mail.If you have read it before, please disregard, if not, you might want to keep this in your health file.

Enjoy your day!

SIGNS OF


0 Comments, 49 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Health Benefits of Peroxide   7/15/2008

The Health Benefits of Hydrogen Peroxide

1.Take one capful (the little white cap that comes with the bottle) and hold in your mouth for 10 minutes daily, then spit it out. (I do it when I ba


0 Comments, 113 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
the drunk!   7/14/2008

A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, 'Can I help you Sir?' 'Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr', the man re


0 Comments, 79 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Home Remedies   7/14/2008

Did You Know That …





Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately -- without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional "pain


0 Comments, 82 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Mowing & Beer   7/12/2008

On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn.The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me, 'Y


0 Comments, 177 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
A Man's Password   7/9/2008

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on.

The hu


0 Comments, 132 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
IT'S ME, GOD, MONICA...   7/9/2008

After a relaxing bath Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself, nude in a mirror.

Her frustration over her lack of ability to lose weight, was depressing her. In an act of desperation, she deci


0 Comments, 73 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
a good match.....   7/9/2008

A small West Virginia Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very horny, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veteri


0 Comments, 61 Views, 0 Votes
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
A political tale/tail   7/9/2008

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the Devil is waiting for him.

'I don't know what to do here' says the Devil. 'You're on my list but I have no room for you! You


0 Comments, 55 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Bruce & Jenny   7/9/2008

Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Br


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213  Articles
Blonde on horseback!   7/8/2008

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons, nor prior experience. She mounts the unassisted, and the immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady


0 Comments, 115 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Cinnamon & Honey   7/8/2008

Cinnamon & Honey Bet the drug companies won't like this one getting around. Facts on honey and cinnamon: It is found that a mixture of honey and cinnamon cures most diseases. Honey is produced in


0 Comments, 104 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Sunburn Remedy   7/8/2008

Bet you never thought of this... New Treatment For Sunburn - A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was


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213  Articles
The Brokeback movie ruined things for Cowboys   6/21/2008

TOP TEN Old West Phrases that Will Never Sound the Same after that Gay Cowboy Movie!

10. I'm gonna pump you full of lead!

9. Give me a stiff one barkeep!

8. Don't fret-I've


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213  Articles
Top 10 reasons a gun is favored over a woman....   6/21/2008

#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

# 9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

# 8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will


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213  Articles
A story with a moral   5/14/2008

This is a story about A Fly, a Fish, a Bear A Hunter, a Mouse and a Cat.

There is a moral to this story...... Maybe not the one Most of you expect.... So, read on & enjoy!

In the dea


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213  Articles
Dr. Morris   5/11/2008

A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Morris about enlarging her breasts. Dr. Morris advised her, "Every day after your shower rub your chest and say, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies."


0 Comments, 132 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Gorilla & the Redneck!   5/11/2008

A small zoo in Tenn. Obtained a very rare species of gorilla.Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The g


0 Comments, 106 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
IRS Genie!   5/10/2008

A cowboy has spent days crossing the Texas plains without water. His has already died of thirst. He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he


0 Comments, 121 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Taxi Driver.....   5/6/2008

One dismal rainy night, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley halfway down the block. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed t


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213  Articles
Can Your Pecker Touch Your Ass?   5/6/2008

A five year old boy and his grandpa are sitting on the front porch together, when gramps pulls a beer out of his cooler. The little boy asks: "Can I have a beer Grandpa?"

Grandpa replies: "Ca


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213  Articles
1-7th degree blondes   5/1/2008

I have to dedicate this one to the 2 Blondes that have made my life & others hell on this site recently!!!! LOL!!!!



FIRST DEGREE A married couple was asleep when the phone


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213  Articles
Wine-Ohhhh!   4/30/2008

One day a gay guy was jogging through the park. He noticed a wino passed out on a park bench and thought to himself, "Ah, what the hell" He went over, dropped the wino's pants and gave it to him up th


0 Comments, 146 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Lost Wallet   4/30/2008

A guy was traveling through Mexico on vacation when, lo and behold, he lost his wallet and all identification.

Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home, but was stopped by th


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213  Articles
Who's Yo' Daddy.....   4/29/2008

The following are all replies that Detroit Mi. women have written on Support Agency Forms in the section for listing father's details. These are genuine excerpts from their forms.

1. Regardi


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213  Articles
Best Answering Machine Messages   4/17/2008

1. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we’re not here, so leave a message.

2. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everythin


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213  Articles
Different ways of looking at things!   4/17/2008

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married. Did you?"





Leroy replied, "I'm not


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213  Articles
#12659   4/17/2008

Australian Court Docket, #12659---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another


0 Comments, 102 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Before Marriage   4/12/2008

Before Marriage:



John-Ah...At last.I can hardy wait! Jane-Do you want me to leave? John-NO! Don't even think about it. Jane-Do you love me? John-Of course!Always have always will! Ja


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213  Articles
Before Marriage   4/12/2008

Before Marriage:

John:Ah...At last.I can hardy wait! Janeo you want me to leave? John:NO! Don't even think about it. Janeo you love me? Johnf course!Always have always will! Jane:Have y


0 Comments, 14 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Theft in the night.....   4/10/2008

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep a


0 Comments, 65 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Shamus & Murphy   4/6/2008

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro.

Murphy said 'Hang on, I have an idea.'

He


0 Comments, 107 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Irish Tale   3/12/2008

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!'

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!




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213  Articles
The Blonde Cowboy!   3/4/2008

The Sheriff in a small town walks out in out street and sees a blond cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure. As he


0 Comments, 73 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
women & technology!   2/5/2008

THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA.

SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND.

THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED.


0 Comments, 95 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Ed Zachery Disease   11/27/2007

A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date or any sex for over 5 years. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her so she decided to seek the medical expertise o


0 Comments, 106 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
A Dirty Mind   11/27/2007

Read through and then see answers below:-

1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?

2. A finger goes in me.


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213  Articles
'Hind Lick maneuver'   11/16/2007

NEVER CHOKE IN A RESTAURANT IN THE SOUTH

Two hillbillies walk into a Dairy Queen. While having a couple of Blizzards, they talk privately about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at


0 Comments, 86 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Flex-Wings...Period!!!   9/12/2007

Dear Mr. Thatcher,





I have been a loyal user of your "Always" maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or Dri-Wea


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213  Articles
West Virginia Letter - from mom   9/8/2007

Dear ,

I am writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when yo left. Your Dad read in the paper where most accidents happen within twenty miles of h


0 Comments, 140 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Curiosity explains it!   9/8/2007

A little boy and a little girl, both about eight years old, were playing in the sandbox. Unexpectedly, the little boy farts, causing a little sand between his legs to shift. The little girl notices, a


0 Comments, 161 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
The Knob   9/7/2007

A woman visited her plastic surgeon who told her about a new procedure called "The Knob, " where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin and prod


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213  Articles
HYPNOTIST   9/6/2007

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"

His wife rep


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213  Articles
Grandma's Letter!   9/6/2007

She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:

Dear Grand-:

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bump


0 Comments, 141 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Chinese Virgins!!!   9/6/2007

A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that. On their wedding night, she cowers shyly under the sheets as her husband undresses in


0 Comments, 131 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Eve's side of the story!   9/1/2007

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going?' inquired God. 'It is all so beautiful, God, ' she replied.

'The sunrises and sunsets are breatht


0 Comments, 18 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
The 11th Husband   9/1/2007

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin".

"What?" said the puz


0 Comments, 118 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Wrong Test Results   8/31/2007

MEDICARE COVERAGE IN A NUTSHELL

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.'

'Mrs. Ward, please.'

'Speaking.'

'Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at th


0 Comments, 127 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
The Perfect Husband   7/1/2007

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk.Everyone else in the room stops to listen.


0 Comments, 122 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Yankees Game!   7/1/2007

Bill and Hillary are at a Yankees home game, sitting in the first row, with the Secret Service people directly behind them.One of the Secret Service guys leans forward and whispers something to Bill.


0 Comments, 87 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
The Tequila Test   7/1/2007

This is why we should know our limits when drinking tequila.

Guy walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.He guesses there mu


0 Comments, 78 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Business Signs   6/17/2007

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: 'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.' **************************

In a Podiatrist's office: 'Time wounds all heels.' **************************

On a Septic T


0 Comments, 44 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Facts to Ponder   6/17/2007

1 . Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.

2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.

3. The dot over the letter i is called a "tittle".




0 Comments, 33 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Q's & A's   6/17/2007

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR? A: It's Braille for "suck here".

Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS? A: It's the same as a French kiss, but "down under."

Q: WHAT


0 Comments, 49 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
2 nuns!   6/17/2007

Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jum


0 Comments, 75 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Psalm 129   6/17/2007

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.


0 Comments, 88 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Avoidable Exposure!   6/17/2007

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there sta


0 Comments, 89 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Irishman & the Blonde   6/6/2007

One day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly too small to be a ship." And, as the speck got clos


0 Comments, 64 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
POEM!   6/6/2007

A man making the Bar scene, was fairly intoxicated when he went into a popular night spot. The bartender refused to serve him and told him he should go home.

Man: My wife will kill me.
<


0 Comments, 51 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Wisdon from Larry the cable guy!   5/1/2007

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyer


0 Comments, 97 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Golf Lesson!   5/1/2007

A man had a terrible golf problem, so he went for a lesson. Well, what should I do?", asked the man. "Hold the club gently, " the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's breast." Taking the adv


0 Comments, 70 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Frog!   5/1/2007

There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk, dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute, and knocked on the door.


0 Comments, 64 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Bull Pill   4/13/2007

A farmer in Culpeper, VA went to the local branch of Wachovia Bank to borrow money for a new bull. The loan was made and Banker Bill, who lent the money, came by a week later to see how the bull was


0 Comments, 93 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
2029 Headlines!   4/13/2007

*Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as


0 Comments, 49 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Email OOP'S   4/13/2007

A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong Email address! A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where the


0 Comments, 69 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Verbally Disadvantaged   2/18/2007

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans, and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to them as APPA


0 Comments, 93 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Bear Remover   2/11/2007

A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers." He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll b


0 Comments, 92 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
I dream of Genie???   2/4/2007

Two men were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hop


0 Comments, 96 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
SEX   2/4/2007

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, yo


0 Comments, 105 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
amish elevator   2/4/2007

An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. Th


0 Comments, 61 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
nudist colony   2/4/2007

A man joins a very exclusive adult nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around.A gorgeous blonde walks by and the man immediately gets an erection.The


0 Comments, 78 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
I want to live my next life backwards!!!   1/29/2007

You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.
Enjoy


0 Comments, 68 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Obsession!   1/25/2007

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small . "You all have obsessions, " he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed


0 Comments, 61 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Beer Vs. Vagina   1/10/2007

1. Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work. One point to BEER
2. Warm beer tastes awful. One point to VAGINA
3. A really cold beer is satisfying. One


0 Comments, 110 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Bullets   12/19/2006

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach.Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave th


0 Comments, 127 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
"Chet" the Christmas Carol Parrot   12/18/2006

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas caro


0 Comments, 103 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Things Learned by Sons   12/15/2006

You find out interesting things when you have sons, like.........
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair


0 Comments, 89 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Tis The Season!   12/15/2006

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates."In honor of this holy season, " Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get


0 Comments, 96 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Philosophy of Ambiguity   12/15/2006

For those who love the philosophy of ambiguity...something to think about!
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, thr


0 Comments, 38 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
All Us Women   12/15/2006

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear , why are you crying?"The seamstr


0 Comments, 65 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Onions & Christmas Trees!   12/5/2006

A family is sitting around the supper table. The asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there. The father, surprised, answers, "Well, , there are three kinds of breasts. In her twe


0 Comments, 112 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Onions & Christmas Trees!   12/5/2006

A family is sitting around the supper table. The asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, , there are three kinds of breasts. In her tw


0 Comments, 24 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Flying!   12/5/2006

During a commercial airline flight a Navy Pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms.When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant


0 Comments, 115 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Dead Man Talking..........   12/5/2006

A blind man makes his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls abso


0 Comments, 92 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
The Guys' Rules !   12/5/2006

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down! We always hear " the rules "From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.These are our rules! Please note.. these are all


0 Comments, 80 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Two old Women!   11/22/2006

Two old women were talking and exchanging notes on their sexual activities.
The first old woman told the second old woman that sometimes she was able to get her husband excited at night


0 Comments, 254 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Men NEVER Listen!   11/15/2006

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament.
Sir, she said " You may u


0 Comments, 125 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
One for You!   11/12/2006

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one.

Madonna doesn't have one.

The Pope has one but doesn't use it.



0 Comments, 104 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
BULL.........!   11/12/2006

A big Texan cowboy stopped at a local restaurant following a day of drinking and roaming around in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served


0 Comments, 82 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
The Cremated Husband   10/24/2006

Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table. Then, while tracing her fingers in the


0 Comments, 119 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Senior Halloween   10/24/2006

An old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time decided to dress up and go out.The old woman went into her bedroom, stripped naked and tied a lemon between her legs. When she came ou


0 Comments, 103 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
R U Kathlick?!   10/24/2006

Three little Boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided it was because they had not been Baptized, and didn't go to Sunday School. So they went to the n


0 Comments, 70 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Her Diary/His Diary   10/12/2006

HER DIARY Tonight I thought he was acting weird.We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink.I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a


0 Comments, 76 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Golfers!   10/12/2006

Watch out for these old golfers! An 80-year old man goes to the doctor for a checkup.The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, "How do you stay in such great physical condit


0 Comments, 94 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Drugs!   10/5/2006

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is al


0 Comments, 54 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Nude Runner!   10/5/2006

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.Oh


0 Comments, 82 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Historical France!   10/4/2006

France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
--Mark Twain
-----------------


0 Comments, 68 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
cat story !   10/4/2006

You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One! We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party.We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet para


0 Comments, 59 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Top 10 why Golf is better than Sex!   10/1/2006

David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex.....
#10...A below par performance is considered damn good.
#9...You can stop in the middle And have a c


0 Comments, 56 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Hoochie Pevans   9/29/2006

"When Nathan Radlich's house was burglarized, thieves left his TV, his VCR, and even left his watch. What they did take was "generic white cardboard box filled with grayish-white powder." (That at


0 Comments, 76 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Pregnant Turkey   9/25/2006

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something


0 Comments, 231 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Gravy Ladle   9/25/2006

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was. Brian's Mom had long been


0 Comments, 103 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
A Really Bad Day On The Day You Die!   9/25/2006

Once upon a time , it was a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day on the day


0 Comments, 105 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
5 reasons not to be a penis...   9/20/2006

5 reasons not to be a penis...


1. You're bald your whole life.


2. You have a hole in your head.


3. Your neighb


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213  Articles
Penis Raise Denied !   9/20/2006

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything


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213  Articles
Vibrator   9/16/2006

AS A WOMAN PASSES HER 'S CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR, SHE HEARD A STRANGE BUZZING NOISE COMING FROM WITHIN. OPENING THE DOOR, SHE OBSERVED HER GIVING HERSELF A REAL WORKOUT WITH A VIBRATOR. SHOCKED, SH


0 Comments, 312 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Girls Night Out   9/13/2006

Why females should avoid girls night out after they are married: The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight: "I promise!"


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213  Articles
A 's Perception   9/11/2006

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip co


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213  Articles
Blonde Logic   9/11/2006

BLONDE LOGIC Two blondes living in ROANOKE were sitting on a bench talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?" The other


0 Comments, 217 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
The Amazing Italian!   9/11/2006

THIS ONE BEST DESCRIBES MY HUSBAND! A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was playing. A sign read, "Don't Miss the Amazing Italian." The salesman bought a ticket and sat down in the c


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213  Articles
Bus Talk   9/4/2006

A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them s


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213  Articles
one of life's embarrassing moments!   9/3/2006

This is a great example of "Did I say that out loud???" This happened at Harvard University in October last year. In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found


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213  Articles
Texas Midget   8/20/2006

The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look.


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213  Articles
Seeing Eye Dogs   8/17/2006

Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua.
As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, "Let's go over to


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213  Articles
Medical Lecture   8/17/2006

Lecture
A medical school professor was giving a lecture on Involuntary Muscular Contractions. Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, he decided to lighten the mood a bit.



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213  Articles
What to do if you get a traffic ticket   8/14/2006

Remember, this advice was sent by a retired State Farm Agent!
This system has been tried and it works in every state. If you get a speeding ticket or went through a red light or whatever t


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213  Articles
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:   8/14/2006

40-ish...............................49.
Adventurous....................Slept with everyone.
Athletic.............................No breasts.
Average looking....


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213  Articles
Home Remedies   8/14/2006

Did You Know That-----
Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately -- without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional "pain relievers."



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213  Articles
How do you/What do you????   8/14/2006

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit? Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit? Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The For


0 Comments, 93 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Big Johnson Gets A Tan!   8/14/2006

There was a man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror, admiring his body, and noticed that he was suntanned all o


0 Comments, 128 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Parrot Hookers   5/17/2006

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him. "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired.They say, "H


0 Comments, 47 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Social Security   5/17/2006

Having reached the age of 65, I went to apply for Social Security last week. After waiting in line for a very long time, I finally got to the counter. The woman there asked me for my driver's li


0 Comments, 45 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Vanilla Pudding Robbery!   5/4/2006

This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2. Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at


0 Comments, 152 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Old Age   4/30/2006

An elderly couple has dinner at another couple's house and after eating, the wives leave the table and go into the kitchen. The two elderly gentlemen are talking and one says, "Last night we went o


0 Comments, 83 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Old Bessie   4/30/2006

A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, "I'm fine, ?" asked the lawyer. Clyde


0 Comments, 83 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Fishing Expedition   4/30/2006

Four macho guys go on a fishing expedition. To save a little money, they rent a small cabin that has only two bedrooms.Bill sleeps with Charlie the first night and he comes to breakfast next mornin


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213  Articles
Duck Hunters!   4/7/2006

HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE TWO DUCK HUNTERS FROM WISCONSIN...???ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING ON THE INCIDENT. A guy buys a brand new Lincoln Navigator truck


0 Comments, 81 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
True Texas Balls!   4/7/2006

Here are three great true stories, each gets better than the other!GOOD* In Richardson, Texas State Trooper was running radar. He had a perfect spot to watc


0 Comments, 324 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Teeth!!!   4/6/2006

A little boy goes shopping with his mother and is waiting right outside of the ladies dressing room for his Mom to come out. While waiting the little boy gets bored and just when his Mom comes walk


0 Comments, 366 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Senior Sex   3/30/2006

A Florida couple, Moe and Flo, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?" Moe says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor


0 Comments, 151 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
The Great Escape !   3/27/2006

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties


0 Comments, 224 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
SBF!   3/26/2006

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishin


0 Comments, 162 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Capital of Thailand ! ! ! !   3/23/2006

DID YOU KNOW that... In the original native culture of Thailand, when males reach the age 18 they participate in a ceremony as follows: They stand naked in a large circle, facing inward. A beautif


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213  Articles
Bubba and Junior   3/21/2006

Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blond lady walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole, " said Bubba, "but


0 Comments, 199 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Rectum Stretcher!   3/21/2006

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over,


0 Comments, 251 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
St. Patrick's Day Humor   3/16/2006

Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland" The other guy respon


0 Comments, 114 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Dessert Test   3/16/2006

Dessert Test: No cheating. If all of the desserts listed below were sitting in front of you, which would you choose? Pick your dessert, and then look to see what psychiatrists think about you! S


0 Comments, 173 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Little Old Woman   3/16/2006

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The sec


0 Comments, 108 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Two Fleas!!!!   3/16/2006

Two fleas from Detroit had an agreement to meet every winter in Miami for a vacation. Last year when one flea gets to Miami, he's all blue, shivering and shaking, damn near frozen to death! The


0 Comments, 93 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
the Potato Story   3/16/2006

Well, Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called 'Yam.'
Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.

0 Comments, 122 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
the wrestler !   3/13/2006

A Russian and a Newfoundland wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic Gold medal.
Before the final match, the Newfie wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now, don't forget a


0 Comments, 232 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Ketchup!   3/10/2006

A blonde virgin and her boyfriend are sitting on the edge of the bed. he asks her, "do you think you might give me a blow job?" inexperienced, she replies, "um - no, i dont think so." he shyly


0 Comments, 194 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
another Redneck joke!   3/10/2006

"Hello, is this here the Sheriff's Office?" "Yes. What can I do for you?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor, Virgil Smith. He's drillin' holes in his farwood and hiding marijuana insid


0 Comments, 176 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
MOVIN'   3/8/2006

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, "What are you doing?" She answers, "I'm moving to New York. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I


0 Comments, 192 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Third Graders   2/26/2006

Three third graders, an Irish , an Italian and a Hillbilly are in the playground at recess. One of them suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest weenie, " he says. "O


0 Comments, 143 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Fart Football   2/24/2006

An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says, "Seven Points." <br> His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" &l


0 Comments, 319 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
The Ultimate    2/21/2006

The Ultimate <br> A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout-looking Vegas catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the , "How much do you char


0 Comments, 351 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Good Chicken Recipe!   2/16/2006

Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing - imagine that! When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell


0 Comments, 187 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Lezbonics! "nothing against lesbians"!   2/16/2006

Subject: Lezbonics <br> 1. What do you call a cupboard full of lesbians? A licker cabinet. <br> 2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian? A Klondyke. <b


0 Comments, 202 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Golfing Nun!!!   2/16/2006

A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it." said the younger nun. <br> "When did you use this aw


0 Comments, 154 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Hollywood Squares!   2/12/2006

If you remember the original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this will bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show respons


0 Comments, 181 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Between Thanksgiving & Christmas!   2/12/2006

A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" u


0 Comments, 201 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
The Will   2/5/2006

An elderly spinster called her attorney about having a Will prepared. The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office. &l


0 Comments, 144 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Safety Tips for WOMEN   2/2/2006

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do! <br> <br> 2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans. If a r


0 Comments, 233 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Lizard Birthing!   2/1/2006

If you have raised (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD! <br> Overview: I


0 Comments, 117 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Blind Salesman   2/1/2006

A woman goes into a sports store to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the salesman who is wearing sunglasses


0 Comments, 146 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Winter Classes for Men   1/26/2006

WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, Jan. 16, 2006 <br> NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS,


0 Comments, 127 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Shit Happens !!!   1/26/2006

A young man goes into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist: Hello, could you give me a condom. My girlfriend has invited me for dinner and I think she is expecting something from me!" <br&g


0 Comments, 171 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Speaking Politically Correct   1/26/2006

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK"- She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN." <br> 2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER"- She is "VOCALLY A


0 Comments, 206 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
What starts with F and ends with K !   1/22/2006

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?" <br> Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My


0 Comments, 289 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
The Hitman   1/22/2006

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up." <


0 Comments, 87 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Second Opinion!   1/21/2006

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.The bad news is that it will require castration.You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine


0 Comments, 122 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Witch Doctor   1/21/2006

A guy with a 25-inch penis went to a doctor and said, "I can't live with this anymore! It's too long." <br> The doctor replied, "I can't do anything for you, but if you see the witch docto


0 Comments, 114 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Tequila Rx!   1/21/2006

FRIENDS........... <br> Do you have feelings of inadequacy...........??? <br> Do you suffer from acute shyness.......?? <br> And...do you sometimes wish you were more a


0 Comments, 169 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Tequila! Ole'   1/21/2006

A Mexican is strolling down the street in Mexico City and kicks a bottle lying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle pops out a Genie. <br> The Mexican is stunned and the Genie say


0 Comments, 109 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
STUN GUN !   1/21/2006

Last weekend I spied something at Larry's Pistol and Pawn that tickled my fancy.I bought something really cool for my wife, Toni. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a littl


0 Comments, 140 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
ROOM SERVICE   11/3/2005

I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling a cab. <br> I grabbed a ca


0 Comments, 308 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Nursing Home Speeder   11/3/2005

Ethel loved to speed in her wheelchair and charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. <br> Because the poor wom


0 Comments, 70 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
HornyWife-Room For Improvement   9/8/2005

we have been on this site for a year now.happy with eachother, satified, married for 28 yrs! we are still looking for a woman that is interested in a couple. its very frustrating when you are surfi


0 Comments, 98 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Anal Lube?   9/8/2005

hello! about a year ago, ,, we had the best one and only anal sex ever! we realize the factors on having good anal.these lubes are confusing. after shaving, waiting a few hours, being all lubed up


0 Comments, 359 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Bartender's Guide   9/7/2005

Before you order a drink in public, you should read this! <br> Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though inter


0 Comments, 467 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
Stuff we don't need!   9/7/2005

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.


0 Comments, 330 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
ALKA SELTZER BEWARE!!!   1/26/2005

THIS IS A TRUE STORY! one evening i was watching this "talk sex" show. this woman was commenting on how wonderful it felt when she inserted alka seltzer tablets up her vagina, and i did say "tabl


0 Comments, 835 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
WAXING !!!   1/23/2005

A friend sent me this - almost died laughing. And you wonder why some women would pay someone to do the waxing for them! <br> The first thing you should know is that hair removal is


0 Comments, 483 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
I Got Your Back   1/13/2005

I Got Your Back" (author unknown) <br> I am a small and precious , my dad's been sent to fight... The only place I'll see his face, is in my dreams at night. He will be gone t


0 Comments, 40 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
The Amish Hand Warmer   1/13/2005

The Amish hand warmer <br> An Amish woman and her were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold." <br> The


0 Comments, 84 Views, 0 Votes
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213  Articles
TEST RESULTS?   1/12/2005

WE ARE VERY MUCH LOOKING FORWARD INTO BRINGING ANOTHER WOMAN OR TWO INTO OUR FOLD. NOT INTERESTED IN SOMEONE NEW EACH WEEK. WE ARE TRYING OUR BEST TO BE SELECTIVE AND CAREFUL, SINCE WE ARE BOTH CLE


0 Comments, 378 Views, 0 Votes