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whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Better Insurance   7/29/2017

A student in medical school wants to specialize in sexual disorders, so he makes arrangements to visit the sexual disorder clinic. The chief doctor is showing him around, discussing cases and the facility, when the student sees a patient masturbating in the hallway. "What condition does he have?" the student asks. "He suffers from Seminal Build-up Disorder, " the doctor replies. "If he doesn't ...


0 Comments, 79 Views, 8 Votes ,4.17 Score
sgordon29 37 M
5  Articles
Light Beer   7/28/2017

You know why they say light beer is like sex on the beach?

They're both fuckin close to water!


1 Comments, 5 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
sgordon29 37 M
5  Articles
O'brian.   7/28/2017

A traveler walks into a bar in Dublin after a long day to finally have his first Irish beer. The bartender kindly asks, "What'll ya have boyo?" to which the traveler responds, "A pint of guiness, sir." The bartender pulls him a perfect pint and the traveler stares at it in amazement as it settles.

"Ah, that's a mighty fine pull isn't it boyo?" The bartender asks. "It's beautiful." Says ...


1 Comments, 78 Views, 3 Votes ,4.90 Score
the bar   7/27/2017

This man sits next to this lady in a bar and says "I sure would like a little pussy" The lady reply's "me too mines as big as a hat"


3 Comments, 49 Views, 13 Votes ,4.65 Score
ZombieStyle69 52 M
3  Articles
What's the definition for a Vagina   7/25/2017

What's the definition for a Vagina? The box a Penis comes in ...


0 Comments, 12 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
bigboystwo2 53 M
11  Articles
weight problem   7/24/2017

i dated a girl with weight problem in high school. in the dark of the backseat she would cry out....WAIT WAIT WAIT


1 Comments, 56 Views, 3 Votes ,5.39 Score
ZombieStyle69 52 M
3  Articles
Funny joke   7/22/2017

What do you call a fish with no i. FSSSSSSSH...


0 Comments, 7 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
michaelamour493 57 M
1  Article
Humor is a key component of all successful relationships   7/17/2017

Personally, among all the attirbutes important for a long term successful relationship.. having a healthy viable good sense of humor is a must. Its a key link to great cross communications. If you cant laugh together ( whether its innocent or dark humor) - yo urelationship will eventually stall. What is your thoughts on the matter? What has been your expereince?

Michaelamour493


0 Comments, 12 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
The Funeral   7/17/2017

At a funeral a priest was giving the last rights to a woman who had 17 . Her first husband Edward, fathered 6, her second husband Tom fathered 5 and her present husband George standing at her grave, fathered an additional 6. As the Priest was wrapping up his solemn and inspirational comments about her sacrifice and complete love for all her …He closed with…"She has now been called by the ...


1 Comments, 123 Views, 11 Votes ,4.66 Score
Leroy!   7/14/2017

A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 .

'WOW, ' the social worker exclaims, 'are they all yours?"

'Yep, they are all mine, ' the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.

She says, 'Sit down Leroy'. All the rush to find seats.

'Well, ' says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up. I'll need ...


4 Comments, 120 Views, 12 Votes ,4.92 Score
Nikhilpkd 29 M
3  Articles
jokes are good   7/11/2017

A joke is a display of humour in which words are used within a specific and well-defined narrative structure to make people laugh. It takes the form of a story, usually with dialogue, and ends in a punch line. It is in the punch line that the audience becomes aware that the story contains a second, conflicting meaning. This can be done using a pun or other word play such as irony, a logical ...


1 Comments, 23 Views, 6 Votes ,2.51 Score
Clodiusthefirst 77 M
23  Articles
A LIMERICK   7/10/2017

There was a young man from Kent,

Whose tool was decidedly bent,

To save himself trouble,

He put it in double,

And instead of coming he went!


1 Comments, 29 Views, 5 Votes ,2.16 Score
kinginsize 58 M
2  Articles
A SINGH IS A KING ALWAYS   7/7/2017

A muslim friend asked his Sardar friend, when is his Birthday. He replied next week. The muslim guy said I will love to gift you curtains so that when make sex with your wife, your windows have curtains so that neighbors can't watch what you do. The Singh than asked, when is your birthday, next month replied his muslim friend, why he asked? The Singh replied I will love to gift you a ...


0 Comments, 77 Views, 4 Votes ,1.30 Score
boudisitter 38 M
1  Article
Which of my friend   7/6/2017

The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge.

"Was it my friend Sam", he demanded.

"No !" his weeping wife replied.

"Was it my friend Jim then?" he asked.

"NO !!!" she said even more upset.

"Well which one of my no good friends did ...


2 Comments, 115 Views, 13 Votes ,3.98 Score
KoKo50155 28 M
6  Articles
opssssssssssss   7/3/2017

happym;


0 Comments, 8 Views, 4 Votes
The Reunion   7/2/2017

Husband takes the wife to her high school reunion.

After meeting several of her friends and former schoolmates, they are sitting at a table where he is yawning and overly bored. The band cranks up and people are beginning to dance.

There's a guy on the dance floor living it large, break dancing, moon walking, back flips, buying drinks for people, the works.

Wife turns ...


1 Comments, 142 Views, 20 Votes ,4.78 Score
kitchansex 33 M
6  Articles
fuck   7/2/2017

i hotel first fuck friend but not have comdom


1 Comments, 54 Views, 11 Votes
Quick jokes   7/1/2017

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A. A carrot

What's brown and sticky?

A. A stick

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A. A fsh

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

A. To get to the other slide.


1 Comments, 36 Views, 10 Votes ,2.99 Score
Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?   6/29/2017

John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning John’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, “Are these plates clean?” His grandfather replied, ...


1 Comments, 104 Views, 10 Votes ,2.99 Score
Hail Damage   6/23/2017

A Blonde got caught in a severe thunderstorm. Soon it began hailing heavily. Her car had dents all over it so she took it to a body shop.

The owner met her at the door and she explained what happened. He looked out and saw the damage and decided to have some fun with her. “Let me tell you a little secret that will save you a lot of money. Blow in the tailpipe and the dents will ...


3 Comments, 160 Views, 27 Votes ,5.03 Score
Clodiusthefirst 77 M
23  Articles
The actor & the agent   6/22/2017

An aspiring European actor visits an American agent for representation. The agent tests him & tells him he has potential.

"What's your name?" " Penis Von Lesbian the actor replies. Agent "You will have to change that if you are to have a chance at stardom" Actor "Oh No!! I can't do that . My name is an ancient & honoured name in my country." Agent " I cannot be your agent then. ...


3 Comments, 148 Views, 18 Votes ,5.17 Score
Satyr_46 53 M
1  Article
That's crazy   6/12/2017

There are these two lunatics in an insane asylum and they decide to leave so they slip out one night at lights out, climb up to the roof and they see the lights of the city off in the distance glittering like diamonds, like all that joy and freedom is just waiting for them. They're up about four stories but across a narrow gap they can get to another roof. One of them makes the run and jumps and ...


3 Comments, 144 Views, 11 Votes ,3.73 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
A Dwarf   6/2/2017

Listen to this, I was coming home from work tired as heck, it was like 99 degrees sweat in my eyes, and knocked the shit out of the car stopped in front of me. To tired to move I just sat there. In a minute the door opened on the other car..And I couldn't believe it, a little dwarf midget got out, had both hands on his hips..he walked right up to my window.. And said I'm not HAPPY... I snickered ...


1 Comments, 122 Views, 16 Votes ,4.60 Score
landing518 38 M
2  Articles
whale   6/1/2017

what did one whale say to another whale.....





go home frank ur drunk


2 Comments, 41 Views, 4 Votes ,2.08 Score
landing518 38 M
2  Articles
ceiling fan   5/30/2017

what noise does a ceilng fan make.....













































whoooo go ceiling ur number 1 yeah go ceiling....


2 Comments, 25 Views, 7 Votes ,1.00 Score
...irony of a blowjob...   5/30/2017

...even if you have her on her knees in front of you...she still "has" you on your balls....


2 Comments, 41 Views, 9 Votes ,2.78 Score
Life in a retirement village!   5/25/2017

On her first day at the senior complex, the new manager addressed all the seniors pointing out some of her rules: "The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males, and the male dormitory to the females. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."

She continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a ...


1 Comments, 168 Views, 19 Votes ,5.10 Score
The Accident   5/23/2017

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it"

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You ...


6 Comments, 178 Views, 17 Votes ,4.68 Score
The Social Worker   5/20/2017

A social worker from a big city recently transferred to an area of hills and valleys in the Appalachians and was on her first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she ever had seen.

Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door. “Anybody home?” she asked.

“Yep, ” came a ’s voice through the door.

“If your father there?” asked the ...


2 Comments, 133 Views, 16 Votes ,4.01 Score
Clodiusthefirst 77 M
23  Articles
Egyptian Camels   5/20/2017

Two ladies visiting Egypt see a local castrating a camel by banging two bricks together on the camels balls.

They are worried about this and ask the camel driver " Does it hurt?"

He replied " Only if I get my thumbs caught between the bricks"


1 Comments, 47 Views, 12 Votes ,3.86 Score
luvs_em_younger 46 M
0  Articles
A cowboy and his .   5/18/2017

A cowboy was taken prisoner by a bunch of angry Indians. They were all prepared to kill him but their Chief declared that since they were celebrating the Great Spirit, they would grant the cowboy three wishes before he killing him. The cowboy can do nothing, but obey them.

The Chief comes up to him and asks: - What do you want for your first wish? - I want talk to my , - replies the ...


4 Comments, 152 Views, 14 Votes ,6.18 Score
bundaberger2 68 M
8  Articles
3'somes   5/14/2017

a friend of mine turned up and said "hey if it takes 3 people having sex to be a 3some and 2 people having sex to be a twosome now I understand why everyone says you're Handsome"


1 Comments, 39 Views, 5 Votes ,3.80 Score
luvs_em_younger 46 M
0  Articles
Birthday Barbie   5/14/2017

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his 's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?' The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina ...


2 Comments, 120 Views, 10 Votes ,3.58 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
2 Black Eyes   5/12/2017

A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man said, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye." "Where did you get the other shiner?" the boss asked.

"Well, " the man said, "I figured she ...


1 Comments, 90 Views, 14 Votes ,5.54 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
21st Century Newspaper   5/12/2017

I was visiting my last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. 'This is the 21st century, ' she said. 'We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad.'. I can tell you this... That fly never knew what hit him!!!


0 Comments, 50 Views, 11 Votes ,5.78 Score
Best joke   5/6/2017

Simple or clever? Are jokes like sex, which is better - simple hard animalistic fucking or connecting with the mind?


3 Comments, 39 Views, 9 Votes ,3.64 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Fly Swatter   5/3/2017

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Hunting flies, ” he responded.

“Oh! Killing any?” she asked.

“Yep, 3 males, 2 females, ” he replied.

Intrigued, she asked, “How can you tell them apart?”

He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on ...


8 Comments, 125 Views, 22 Votes ,6.13 Score
Blondes   5/3/2017

What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her forehead?









All you can eat for under a buck

Was do you call a blond that dies her hair brown?

Artificial Intelligence



What do you call 5 blondes standing ear to ear?

A wind tunnel


3 Comments, 44 Views, 8 Votes ,2.78 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Wife Singing   5/3/2017

A married woman starts singing, and sees her husband go out the back door onto the deck... She goes to the back door, and ask him why do you go out on the deck everytime I start singing??? Because I don't want the neighbors to think I am beating you!!! lol...


3 Comments, 53 Views, 13 Votes ,5.66 Score
Nymphomaniacs Convention   5/1/2017

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, " Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. " I'm going to the ...


1 Comments, 168 Views, 12 Votes ,5.10 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Marital Spat   4/30/2017

A guy was telling his friend that he and his wife had a serious argument the night before.

“But it ended, ” he said, “when she came crawling to me on her hands and knees.”

“What did she say?” asked the friend.

The husband replied, “She said, ‘Come out from under that bed, you coward!'”


0 Comments, 55 Views, 8 Votes ,5.33 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Tiny House   4/30/2017

A social worker from a big city recently transferred to an area of hills and valleys in the Appalachians and was on her first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she ever had seen.

Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door. “Anybody home?” she asked.

“Yep, ” came a ’s voice through the door.

“If your father there?” asked the ...


3 Comments, 92 Views, 14 Votes ,5.22 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Hunting Guide Lost   4/29/2017

A local hunting guide got himself into a big problem. His party became hopelessly lost in the mountains and they blamed him for leading them astray.

“You told us you were the best guide in Colorado!” they asserted.

“I am!” he said, “but I think we’re in Wyoming now.” !!!


2 Comments, 57 Views, 13 Votes ,6.00 Score
jcherr022 51 M
5  Articles
i guy walks into a bar   4/24/2017

Does anyone have any good jokes?


0 Comments, 24 Views, 0 Votes
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Cash Cow   4/20/2017

A motorist driving by a Texas ranch hit a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. "Oh, about $200 today, " said the Cowboy. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out." The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the Cowboy. "Here, " he ...


1 Comments, 118 Views, 8 Votes ,4.41 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
For Nascar Fans   4/20/2017

A man walks into a bar with his dog. A Sprint Cup race is on a TV. He sits down and asks how Dale Earnhardt Jr is doing. The bartender says "Earnhardts is in 25th". The jumps up, and runs around the barstool 25 times. A couple of laps later, the bartender says "Earnhardt Jr is up to 10th". The jumps up again and runs around the barstool 10 times. A few laps later, the bartender says "Earnhardt Jr ...


2 Comments, 125 Views, 11 Votes ,5.04 Score
voyeurs69in2003 73 C
107  Articles
Miracle by genie from the bottle   4/18/2017

A couple that are both 60 years old were celebrating their 40th anniversary on the beautiful beaches of San Diego when they spotted a bottle washed up on the shore. They opened it, and a genie came out!

The genie offered to grant each of them a wish for releasing him.

He asked the woman what she desired, and she said she would love to be able to travel with her husband on a trip ...


3 Comments, 112 Views, 10 Votes ,4.38 Score
Damn Fine Explanation   4/15/2017

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman and she was upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your ! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

The husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute, love, so at least I can tell you what happened.'

...


4 Comments, 189 Views, 19 Votes ,6.55 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Doggy Style ???   4/15/2017

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?" asked the one.





"Well, not exactly." his friend replied, "she's more into the trick aspect of it."





"Oh, I see, kinky, huh?"





"Well, not exactly - I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead."


1 Comments, 73 Views, 12 Votes ,5.10 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Man Filing for Retirement   4/15/2017

A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later." The woman says, ...


1 Comments, 113 Views, 8 Votes ,5.33 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Prostate Exam   4/15/2017

After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate Exam 2 years ago, I decided to have my next exam with a new doctor. Where they claim to be more gentle and accommodating.





As I lay naked on my side on the table, the Doctor began the examination.

I heard him say.. "Don't worry, at this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection, ...


1 Comments, 83 Views, 10 Votes ,5.97 Score
friends   4/14/2017

friends may come peter out you know but we will be friends through thick and thin peter out or peter in


0 Comments, 9 Views, 1 Votes ,1.10 Score
Taylorboytaylor 25 M
1  Article
Jokes   4/13/2017

It's Important to try make the best of. Every day and keep urself laughing and keep your head held high


0 Comments, 18 Views, 4 Votes ,2.86 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
What did he say!   4/11/2017

I was over at a good friend of mines house... We we're sitting there drinking a beer... and his 16 year old came walking in and said hey Dad Had my first Blow Job.............It made me smile And his Dad said alright..How was it???

His said it was good...does it always taste that bad!!!!!!

I just got up and left..


4 Comments, 80 Views, 12 Votes ,5.98 Score
Tale of the Ring   4/10/2017

A balding, white haired man walked into a jeweler store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5, 000 ring.

The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'

At that statement, the jeweler went to his ...


4 Comments, 96 Views, 8 Votes ,5.80 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Erection Problem   4/8/2017

A man walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and as she and her also single sister owned the store, there were no males employed there. The woman pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss. The man agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me ...


2 Comments, 88 Views, 10 Votes ,5.77 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Sunburn   4/8/2017

A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets a horrible sunburn all over his body.

He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second degree burns on his legs.

He was starting to blister and in pain by the time the doctor arrived. To help, the doctor prescribed an IV with saline and electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every ...


2 Comments, 93 Views, 8 Votes ,4.41 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Gay at 15 ???   4/8/2017

A student at school went in to see his counselor. He talked awhile and then broke it to him that he Was only 15 and gay... The counselor said you don't that for sure your only 15

He said oh yes I do..My Daddy was gay My Grandaddy Was gay and so was his father..

The counselor said...Damn ain't there anybody in your Family that eats Pussy

He said yea my Sister!!!!!


1 Comments, 77 Views, 12 Votes ,6.51 Score
wickedcat2006 49 F
145  Articles
work out regime!!   4/8/2017

My doctor took one look at my gut and refused to believe that i work out. So I listed the exercises i do every day: jump to conclusions, climb the walls, drag my heels, push my luck, make mountains out of molehills, bend over backward, run around in circles, put my foot in my mouth, go over the edge, and beat around the bush.


4 Comments, 40 Views, 10 Votes ,5.38 Score
The Last Kiss   4/6/2017

A group of HELLS ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a longhaired girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. Naturally curious, they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby...whatcha doin' up ...


2 Comments, 89 Views, 7 Votes ,5.84 Score
A Variety   3/31/2017

I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business, when this fat, ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kind'a cute. You gotta phone number?"

I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"

She said, "Yeah, I got a pen."

I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."

Cost me 6 stitches ...But when you're over sixty, who ...


3 Comments, 98 Views, 11 Votes ,5.97 Score
m21sissypriya 22 T
2  Articles
divoce   3/31/2017

Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my . I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you ...


0 Comments, 91 Views, 5 Votes ,5.75 Score
m21sissypriya 22 T
2  Articles
teacher   3/31/2017

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking ...


0 Comments, 70 Views, 4 Votes ,3.63 Score
It wasn't All his fault   3/31/2017

She sat the in bed, hair disheveled, naked, and continued to give him an icy stare. She didn't need words to show just how livid she was.

"I'm sorry" he said to her, "But you have to admit, perhaps you could have chosen a better SAFE-WORD than "Harder!"


0 Comments, 39 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
It wasn't All his fault   3/31/2017

She sat the in bed, hair disheveled, naked, and continued to give him an icy stare. She didn't need words to show just how livid she was.

"I'm sorry" he said to her, "But you have to admit, perhaps you could have chosen a better SAFE-WORD than "Harder!"


0 Comments, 11 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
weather   3/30/2017

when the weather is hot and sticky that is no time for Dickie dunking but when the frost is on the pumpkin then that is the time dunking Dicky


0 Comments, 10 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
weather   3/30/2017

when the weather is hot and sticky that is no time for Dickie dunking but when the frost is on the pumpkin then that is the time dunking Dicky


1 Comments, 11 Views, 5 Votes ,2.82 Score
Rodnice007 35 M
3  Articles
Dirty   3/28/2017

So there's a who thinks he's funny actually hilarious makes the common to mama jokes and bullies with jokes to his whole family. Well one day his mama challenges him to a contest so she says you tell your best to mama joke and I'm going to tell one and we see who's is the best. The is puzzled so you want me too tell a joke about big mama? His mom replies just tell the joke the agrees but with ...


3 Comments, 88 Views, 9 Votes ,3.64 Score
ChattWillie 60 M
4  Articles
Never ate one myself   3/27/2017

When does a cub scout become a boy scout? When he eats his first brownie. Yucky, boo boo.


1 Comments, 13 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
thrusted 55 M
7  Articles
laugh and get laid   3/23/2017

back in the day it used to be the humor of a guy that got him laid now its like ooooo i need a mature feller eating my puss lolol whats yas take on that


1 Comments, 14 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
thrusted 55 M
7  Articles
laugh and get laid   3/23/2017

back in the day it used to be the humor of a guy that got him laid now its like ooooo i need a mature feller eating my puss lolol whats yas take on that


1 Comments, 5 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
thrusted 55 M
7  Articles
laugh and get laid   3/23/2017

back in the day it used to be the humor of a guy that got him laid now its like ooooo i need a mature feller eating my puss lolol whats yas take on that


0 Comments, 6 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
masterbaiter451 44 M
1  Article
Lorania Bobbit   3/23/2017

Did you hear about Lorannia Bobit moving to Russia and changing her name? To Lorannia Cuts your cock off!!


1 Comments, 11 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Wife and Husband's Best Friend   3/22/2017

Well a mans Wife and her Husband's Best Friend are laying in her bed Breathing heavily and the sheets soaking wet..from wild and passionate Sex... When the phone rings...she looks at the caller Id. and says oh it's my husband.. Your not going to answer that are you...shhhh be quiet she says..

He's barely breathing scared to death...she says ok that sounds like fun.. Again tomorrow..ok ...


2 Comments, 134 Views, 12 Votes ,5.98 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Massaging a Lawyer   3/22/2017

. A lawyer is standing in a long queue at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands massaging his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around and says, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line." "Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"


2 Comments, 55 Views, 9 Votes ,5.78 Score
Corporate translations   3/16/2017

Corporate translations --> Competitive salary: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. Join our fast – paced company : We have no time to train you and you will have to introduce yourself to your co - workers. Seeking enthusiastic, fun, hard working people: who still live with their parents and will not mind our internship – level salaries. Casual work atmosphere: We do not ...


3 Comments, 53 Views, 9 Votes ,5.14 Score
Joshua8incher 35 M
7  Articles
must try !   3/15/2017

Hello awesome HornyWife -er,

Who is going to try this with their wife/GF/ or female boss


0 Comments, 87 Views, 3 Votes ,0.49 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Bad Grandpa   3/13/2017

Grandpa got talked into watching his 5 year old grandson one afternoon.. Half asleep on the couch when he says...Grandpa can I go outside And play with Billy??? Go right ahead Grandpa says.. 5 minutes later he come back in ..says Grandpa.. What is it called when 2 people are in a bedroom and ones on Top of the other????????

Half asleep he says your a little young for this..but its called ...


2 Comments, 139 Views, 14 Votes ,5.38 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Why men wear earrings   3/13/2017

Did you ever wonder why earrings became so popular with men?

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.

The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense".

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a ...


2 Comments, 100 Views, 13 Votes ,5.83 Score
Thrillride7878 62 M
1  Article
Midgets   3/10/2017

When is it acceptable to kick a midget in the balls? When he tells you that your wife's hair smells good!


2 Comments, 20 Views, 4 Votes ,3.63 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
She's your Sister-   3/9/2017

A boy after graduation goes to his Dad and says he needs to speak to him.. Dad I'm so in love with Becky that we are going to get married.. said the Dad..when I was a younger man, I got around with The ladies pretty good..and Becky is your sister you can't marry her!!!

Broken hearted and dejected he finds another girlfriend..6 months later he Goes to Dad and says ok me and Cindy are in ...


4 Comments, 169 Views, 21 Votes ,6.10 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Teacher to Class   3/9/2017

The teacher was describing the dolphin and its habits.

"And, , "she said impressively, "a single dolphin will have two thousand offspring."

"Goodness!" gasped a little girl in the back row. "And how about married ones?"


2 Comments, 61 Views, 12 Votes ,5.63 Score
men   3/7/2017

After the marriage the bride put a box next to her bed and told her husband never to open and check, what’s inside of it. 40 years passed and the husband impatiently opened the box and found there 3 empty bottles of beer and 14000$. In the evening during the dinner he tells his wife: - Darling, I have to admit, I opened the box. Would you explain why there are 3 bottles? - You see, whenever I ...


1 Comments, 92 Views, 5 Votes ,3.80 Score
anniversery   3/7/2017

A man asks his wife during a 25 marriage anniversary: - Darling, have you been unfaithful to me? - Yes, honey, three times. - When was the first time? - Do you remember the situation when you went to a bank, but nobody would give you any credit? And finally the CEO of the bank himself signed the credit allowance to you. - Thanks, darling. And when was the second time? - Do you remember when you ...


1 Comments, 76 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
Home from work   3/3/2017

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts" She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start." This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before it ...


1 Comments, 104 Views, 8 Votes ,5.33 Score
Visit to the doctors   3/3/2017

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't ...


1 Comments, 58 Views, 5 Votes ,4.77 Score
Visit to the doctors   3/3/2017

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't ...


0 Comments, 14 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
I_BRANDY 75 M
11  Articles
" Larger Breasts "   3/2/2017

A woman showes up at her Dr.'s office requesting larger breasts. The Dr. explaines the different options for breast augmentaion, implants and the such. "No surgery" she says. Anything but the surgery. There must be another way. There is says the Dr. But you must be very dillagent in the process. Each day, three times. once in the morning, again around mid-day and once more before bed, I want ...


0 Comments, 82 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
I_BRANDY 75 M
11  Articles
"THE COMA"   3/1/2017

A woman lay in the hospital bed. She has been in a coma for two months, with little hope of any change. The nurses noticed while bathing her that when they washed her privat areas, she responded some. Her eyes moved, an ever so slight slight smile. They reported what they had noticed to her Dr.. He consulted with other Dr's and they called the husband in explaining what the nurses had found and ...


1 Comments, 80 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
goldar1000 40 M
1  Article
Why did the chicken cross the road?   3/1/2017

To get to the other side!


0 Comments, 18 Views, 3 Votes ,0.49 Score
WeFuckEmAll 55 C
1  Article
On the beach   2/27/2017

Two fleas met on the beach in Cuba , one of them had a terrible flu. "What happened to to you" asked his friend. "I came down on the moustache of a man on a motorcycle" "look, next year you go to the airport, get on a toilet seat in the stewardesses' lounge, and you'll have a have a nice soft warm ride down." "Sounds good, " wheezed the flea I'll try it." The next winter the two fleas met on the ...


0 Comments, 75 Views, 7 Votes ,3.30 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
CHICAGO   2/26/2017

I was in Macon Ga. the other day. I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read:

"I miss Chicago ."

So I broke the window, stole the radio, shot out two of the tires, added an Obama bumper sticker and left a note that read, "I hope this helps.”


1 Comments, 63 Views, 18 Votes ,5.58 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Be careful with this one   2/26/2017

Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: ... "I'm just kidding!"


1 Comments, 59 Views, 17 Votes ,5.81 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
SCAM ALERT   2/26/2017

Just got scammed out of $25.

Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes". Turns out it's all about golf.

Absolute waste of money!

Pass this on so others don't get scammed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol.


1 Comments, 29 Views, 10 Votes ,4.38 Score
Little Bruce   2/21/2017

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, ...


2 Comments, 140 Views, 7 Votes ,4.82 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Bathtub Test   2/19/2017

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the Director how do You determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

'Well, ' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a Teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand, ' I said. 'A norm al person would ask for the bucket..

No a ...


4 Comments, 133 Views, 24 Votes ,5.40 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Big Trouble   2/19/2017

The population of this country is 300 million.

160 million are retired.

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.

Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.

Leaving 15 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces.

Which ...


5 Comments, 119 Views, 15 Votes ,4.82 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Firetruck   2/19/2017

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides & a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog & her cat.

The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire ...


2 Comments, 119 Views, 22 Votes ,5.05 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Orgasm Problem   2/19/2017

Woman goes to her doctor...And says “Doctor, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm!” .

Doctor says...“Are you doing anything for it?” “ Yea Snorting pepper.”


1 Comments, 54 Views, 12 Votes ,3.86 Score
War Wounds   2/18/2017

There was a soldier in Nam that was famous for his socializing. After about a year, he noticed a problem with his friend and went in for a checkup. They had never seen anything quite like the problem he had, but treated him with the usual meds for social diseases. After the usual amount of time, they noticed that the problem had not gone away, but had gotten worse. They decided to send him to a ...


0 Comments, 97 Views, 7 Votes ,3.04 Score
Indomitable80 38 M
23  Articles
Math   2/17/2017

Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?

Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.

Lauren: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.

Me: What is a vowel?

Lauren: OK, OK. A vowel is … ahh … eh … well, oh … uh …

Me: Close enough.


0 Comments, 46 Views, 11 Votes ,1.86 Score
Indomitable80 38 M
23  Articles
Birthday   2/17/2017

A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out.

‘What’s the matter?’ she asked. ‘It’s my birthday!’ he hollered.

‘And I had a bicycle and a new tracksuit and this afternoon there’s to be a party with crisps and jelly and a birthday cake and a disco afterwards. . .’ and he had to stop talking because he was crying so hard. ...


0 Comments, 68 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
Indomitable80 38 M
23  Articles
Gold Medalist   2/17/2017

Three women were sitting around talking about their sex lives.

The first said, “I think my husband’s like a championship golfer.

He’s spent the last ten years perfecting his stroke.”

The second woman said, “My husband’s like the winner of the Indy 500.

Every time we get into bed he gives me several hundred exciting laps.”



The ...


0 Comments, 74 Views, 5 Votes ,3.80 Score
Indomitable80 38 M
23  Articles
Blow job   2/17/2017

A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face.

His best man asks, “Why do you look so excited?”

The groom replies, “I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me.”

The bride waits at the other end of the aisle with a huge smile on her face.

Her maid of honour asks, ...


0 Comments, 67 Views, 2 Votes ,5.20 Score
Indomitable80 38 M
23  Articles
Blow job   2/17/2017

A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face.

His best man asks, “Why do you look so excited?”

The groom replies, “I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me.”

The bride waits at the other end of the aisle with a huge smile on her face.

Her maid of honour asks, ...


0 Comments, 19 Views, 4 Votes ,5.19 Score
Indomitable80 38 M
23  Articles
The Bet   2/17/2017

Three Friends an Italian a German and a Greek they decided to bet it’s other 100 euros who is going to make their wives scream more from sex.

So they all go home to have sex with their wives so they make them scream. The next day the meet.

The Italian says, “I made love to my wife for 2 hours and she was screaming for at least 1 1/2 hours.”

The German says, ...


0 Comments, 68 Views, 4 Votes ,5.19 Score
Indomitable80 38 M
23  Articles
Adult   2/17/2017

Gordon Brown was lookin for a lady of the night.

He found a girl in a local pub.

He said: “I’m Prime minister of England, how much would it cost me to spend time with you …?”

Her reply: “Mr prime minister, if you can get my skirt as high as my taxes, my pants as low as my wages, your dick as hard as the times we’re living in and keep it rising like the price ...


0 Comments, 31 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
Indomitable80 38 M
23  Articles
Adult   2/17/2017

Gordon Brown was lookin for a lady of the night.

He found a girl in a local pub.

He said: “I’m Prime minister of England, how much would it cost me to spend time with you …?”

Her reply: “Mr prime minister, if you can get my skirt as high as my taxes, my pants as low as my wages, your dick as hard as the times we’re living in and keep it rising like the price ...


0 Comments, 26 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
Indomitable80 38 M
23  Articles
!!!   2/17/2017

A man decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his rear end. That wouldn’t have been so bad, except that he had couple of ...


0 Comments, 57 Views, 4 Votes ,4.41 Score
Indomitable80 38 M
23  Articles
Blonde   2/17/2017

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.


1 Comments, 8 Views, 4 Votes ,4.80 Score
Indomitable80 38 M
23  Articles
Interview!!!!   2/17/2017

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125, 000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full ...


0 Comments, 42 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
Indomitable80 38 M
23  Articles
Blonde   2/17/2017

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs ...


1 Comments, 55 Views, 5 Votes ,4.12 Score
Indomitable80 38 M
23  Articles
Lil Johnny   2/17/2017

Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Six." ...


0 Comments, 53 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
Indomitable80 38 M
23  Articles
Evolution   2/17/2017

A asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about ...


0 Comments, 25 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
Indomitable80 38 M
23  Articles
Fat cow!!!!!   2/17/2017

Teacher: ", what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat & eggs!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"


1 Comments, 12 Views, 3 Votes ,4.90 Score
Indomitable80 38 M
23  Articles
Blonde   2/17/2017

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.


1 Comments, 21 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Indomitable80 38 M
23  Articles
Blonde   2/17/2017

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.


0 Comments, 9 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
I_BRANDY 75 M
11  Articles
Imagration   2/13/2017

2/3 of Donnald Trumps wives have been imagrents. That just supports the idea that we need imagrents. To to the jobs that Americans won't do.


1 Comments, 32 Views, 5 Votes ,2.16 Score
jcherr022 51 M
5  Articles
Jokes   2/13/2017

I have no good jokes to tell


1 Comments, 9 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
mth1128 57 M
6  Articles
Did you hear the one about?   2/3/2017

I usually know a 1000 jokes but can not think of one. haha


0 Comments, 10 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
My fav. Blonde joke   2/2/2017

. A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender IS blonde and the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall blonde, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is a blonde, 6' 2, weighs 225 and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6' 5" ...


2 Comments, 143 Views, 18 Votes ,5.58 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Who's the thief??   2/1/2017

A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money."

The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You cannot do this, I'm a United States Congressman!"

The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"


3 Comments, 66 Views, 17 Votes ,5.39 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Alabama Farmer   2/1/2017

What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?

A .

ROLL TIDE I LOVE THEM...


0 Comments, 28 Views, 7 Votes ,4.82 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Relatives???   2/1/2017

Ernie asks Joe, "If I slept with your wife and had a would that make us related?"

Joe says to Ernie, "No but it would make us even."


1 Comments, 56 Views, 12 Votes ,4.74 Score
Mybabyandme88 36 C
4  Articles
You know what isn't funny?   1/31/2017

Sitting in your apartment, hearing your neighbors fucking like back door porn stars. Your partner playing video games. And your on the web instead of getting fucked like a porn star and your clit played with like a ps3 joy stick.


0 Comments, 32 Views, 3 Votes ,0.98 Score
Mybabyandme88 36 C
4  Articles
You know what isn't funny?   1/31/2017

Sitting in your apartment, hearing your neighbors fucking like back door porn stars. Your partner playing video games. And your on the web instead of getting fucked like a porn star and your clit played with like a ps3 joy stick.


3 Comments, 34 Views, 4 Votes ,1.69 Score
wickedcat2006 49 F
145  Articles
penis like a chimney!!!   1/24/2017

A redneck went to the hospital, as his wife was having a baby. Upon arriving, he sat down as the nurse said to him. “Congratulations, your wife has had quintruples, five big baby boys." The redneck said, "Well, I'm not surprised. I have a penis on me like a fucking chimney." The nurse replied, "You might want to consider getting it cleaned. They’re all black


3 Comments, 74 Views, 10 Votes ,4.98 Score
Golf   1/22/2017

Two doctors were putting on the ninth green when one collapsed from a heart attack. "Help me, " he groaned to his companion. "Sorry, my malpractice insurance won't cover it, " his partner replied, walking off the green, "but I'll get help." A few minutes later, he returned, picked up his club and began lining up hit putt. The man on the ground raised his head and screamed in Disbelief, "I'm dying ...


4 Comments, 129 Views, 10 Votes ,3.58 Score
Bonts1000 31 M
1  Article
Funny joke   1/20/2017

Who else loves this joke ?


1 Comments, 41 Views, 0 Votes
Clodiusthefirst 77 M
23  Articles
Furniture   1/20/2017

Man walks into a greengrocers and asks whether he has any empty orange boxes as he wants to make furniture from them.

"Yes of course I do. There is a pile there . Take your pick."

man checks the boxes & there are none that fit what he wants. He then asks the grocer " Do you have any blood orange boxes?"

" Sorry none of them at all. Why blood orange boxes particularly?" ...


0 Comments, 87 Views, 9 Votes ,2.36 Score
Saint076 26 M
3  Articles
Why doesn't a chicken wear pants?   1/19/2017

Because his pecker is on his head


2 Comments, 7 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
Saint076 26 M
3  Articles
Why doesn't a chicken wear pants?   1/19/2017

Because his pecker is on his head


0 Comments, 5 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
...payback...   1/16/2017

A family is at the dinner table. The asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, , a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the asks. “Yes. You see them and ...


3 Comments, 98 Views, 9 Votes ,3.85 Score
...always these questions...   1/16/2017

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s ...


3 Comments, 124 Views, 9 Votes ,4.07 Score
Little Johnny....again   1/15/2017

A teacher asks the class to name things that end with 'tor' that eat things.

The first little boy says, "Alligator."

"Very good, that's a big word."

The second boy says, "Predator."

"Yes, that's another big word. Well done.”

Little Johnny says, "Vibrator"

After nearly falling off her chair, she says, "That is a big word, but it doesn't eat ...


4 Comments, 131 Views, 14 Votes ,4.74 Score
Elks   1/14/2017

Two Norwegians are drinking in a bar. One says, "Did you know that Elks have sex 10 to 15 times a day?"

"Aww, shit!" says his friend, "and I just joined the Knights of Columbus!"


0 Comments, 36 Views, 7 Votes ,3.80 Score
Just Like Frank   1/14/2017

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are ...


3 Comments, 115 Views, 13 Votes ,4.65 Score
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?   1/14/2017

A carrot .......


0 Comments, 13 Views, 0 Votes
HereInRC 39 M
4  Articles
German girl   1/14/2017

Ten guys are gangbanging a German girl who then yells, 'Nein, nein!'. So one gets up and leaves.


0 Comments, 39 Views, 2 Votes ,1.73 Score
HereInRC 39 M
4  Articles
Circus   1/14/2017

Did you hear about the circus orgy? It was fucking in tents!


1 Comments, 6 Views, 3 Votes ,1.47 Score
HereInRC 39 M
4  Articles
Beans   1/14/2017

What's the difference between a garbonzo bean and a chickpea?

I wouldn't pay $300 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.


0 Comments, 6 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
mth1128 57 M
6  Articles
Joke   1/13/2017

Did you hear about the man with the 5 penises?



..... His pants fit him like a glove!!!!


0 Comments, 10 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
mth1128 57 M
6  Articles
A joke   1/13/2017

Why do lesbians only shop at Sports Authority?



....... They don't like Dicks


1 Comments, 10 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
HereInRC 39 M
4  Articles
An age old question   1/13/2017

Which came first: the chicken or the egg?

Neither; the rooster came first.


0 Comments, 3 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
...insurance...   1/10/2017

The Queen visits a new hospital... She is shown around first by a nurse so she can inspect the facilities.

On her way, she hears orgasmic groans coming from a nearby room.

She goes to the room to investigate and, upon arriving, finds that a man is masturbating on the bed.

She asks the nurse "Why is that man doing that?"

The nurse replies "Oh, he's got to ...


4 Comments, 96 Views, 9 Votes ,3.85 Score
mutualpleasure83 46 M
6  Articles
Even more funny ones   1/9/2017

Q: Why is being in the military like a blow-job? A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Q: What do you call a guy who cries while he masturbates? A: A tearjerker.

Q: How can you tell which is the head nurse? A: She's the one with the dirty knees.

Q: Which of the following words does not belong: meat, eggs, wife, blowjob. A: Blowjob. You can beat your ...


2 Comments, 32 Views, 4 Votes ,5.57 Score
mutualpleasure83 46 M
6  Articles
More funny ones   1/9/2017

Q: What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!



Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blowjob!

Q: Why did God give men penises? A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.


0 Comments, 20 Views, 3 Votes ,4.90 Score
Hair   1/8/2017

Their is no justice in this world as you have lee hair to comb you have more face to wash


1 Comments, 12 Views, 4 Votes ,2.08 Score
old men   1/8/2017

what is the difference between a sexy senior citizen and a dirty old man?











There is none


2 Comments, 27 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
old men   1/8/2017

what is the difference between a sexy senior citizen and a dirty old man?











There is none


0 Comments, 6 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
old men   1/8/2017

what is the difference between a sexy senior citizen and a dirty old man?











There is none


0 Comments, 5 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
old men   1/8/2017

what is the difference between a sexy senior citizen and a dirty old man?











There is none


0 Comments, 2 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
funplaymateswant 59 M
6  Articles
Dogs and Puppies   1/7/2017

A little boy and his mother are at the airport going to see his grandmother. The little boy is looking out the window and turns to his mom and says " mommy is cows have calves and dogs have puppies how come planes dont that little planes" His mother says " I dont know, you will have to ask the stewardess when we get to our seats".

They board the plane and get to their seats and the ...


3 Comments, 164 Views, 7 Votes ,3.30 Score
Funny   1/6/2017

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.


2 Comments, 12 Views, 7 Votes ,3.30 Score
eric89ward 29 M
5  Articles
redneck vacation   1/6/2017

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. THREE YEARS AGO, YOU SAID TO GO TO HAWAII. I WENT TO HAWAII AND EARLENE GOT PREGNANT. THEN TWO YEARS AGO, YOU TOLD ME TO GO TO THE BAHAMAS, AND EARLENE GOT ...


5 Comments, 102 Views, 11 Votes ,5.04 Score
hmmm   1/5/2017

hmmmmmm boring


0 Comments, 7 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
eric89ward 29 M
5  Articles
on the edge   1/5/2017

A guy is hiking up a mountain when he sees a girl standing at the edge of a cliff, crying. "Hey, " he says, "if you're going to jump, how about giving me a blow job before you do it?" "My life's been nothing but crap, " says the girl. "So I might as well." After the girl's done, the guy says, "Wow, that was great! Why are you so depressed, anyway?" The girl replies, "My family disowned me for ...


4 Comments, 81 Views, 9 Votes ,4.71 Score
Three Golfers   1/2/2017

Three golfing partners died in a car wreck and went to heaven. Upon arrival they discover the most beautiful golf course they have ever seen. St. Peter tells them that they are all welcome to play the course, but he cautions them that there is only one rule:

"Don't hit the ducks during your first three months here."

The men all have blank expressions, and finally one of them ...


7 Comments, 142 Views, 20 Votes ,5.81 Score
Hurricanes   1/2/2017

Why are hurricanes normally named after women?

When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them


5 Comments, 30 Views, 10 Votes ,4.38 Score
eric89ward 29 M
5  Articles
Little Billy   1/1/2017

One Wednesday, little Billy went to school. The teacher said, "For the next three days, I will be asking a trivia question, if anyone answers any of them correctly, they won't have to come to school on Monday.

The first question was, "How many grains of sand are on all the world's beaches?" No one knew, not even little Billy. Suddenly, a paper airplane flew across the room. "Okay, " said ...


0 Comments, 80 Views, 7 Votes ,3.55 Score
G-spot and a golf ball   1/1/2017

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.


1 Comments, 11 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
A DEA Officer...   1/1/2017

..stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

The rancher says, "Okay, but do not go in that field over there, " as he points out the location.

The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants ...


2 Comments, 100 Views, 9 Votes ,5.14 Score
A Blonde and Snow   1/1/2017

One winter morning in Syracuse a husband and his blonde wife were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through... So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, ...


2 Comments, 111 Views, 13 Votes ,6.16 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
3 to think about   1/1/2017

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?

Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery?’


2 Comments, 35 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
Think About It   1/1/2017

Why do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?


2 Comments, 32 Views, 6 Votes ,3.93 Score
eric89ward 29 M
5  Articles
The Priest's Question   12/31/2016

The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church. During mass, he asked the congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?

All the men stood up. ...


1 Comments, 56 Views, 6 Votes ,3.93 Score
eric89ward 29 M
5  Articles
BIGGER AND BETTER IN TEXAS   12/31/2016

There was a very self-sufficient blind man, who did a lot of traveling alone. He was making his first trip to Texas and happened to be seated next to a Texan on the flight. The Texan spent a lot of time telling him how everything is bigger and better in Texas. By the time the blind man had reached his destination, a large resort hotel, he was very excited about being in Texas. The long trip had ...


0 Comments, 53 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
What to do when a girl smells   12/30/2016

Get on with jt


0 Comments, 19 Views, 2 Votes ,0.34 Score
Space man dickhead   12/29/2016

What the spaceman say to his dick ? Hey stop spacing out dick


0 Comments, 13 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
...a stroll through the woods...   12/27/2016

Three friends stroll through the woods - suddenly a man appears between the trees looking exactly like Jesus...

the first one approaches the man and asks - "are you Jesus"? And the man responds YES - can I help you my ?

Yes the First one says - I have terrible pain in my elbow. So Jesus lays his hand on the elbow and the man is healed!!!

The Second one encouraged limps ...


0 Comments, 72 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
and another Blondie joke   12/22/2016

Two blonds standing naked in front of a mirror checking each other out...the one suddenly says - Hey - you ve got black hair down there...the other responds with a smile - You think I am stupid everywhere?....


0 Comments, 47 Views, 5 Votes ,4.12 Score
kinginsize07 58 M
18  Articles
permanent erection   12/21/2016

A man walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and as she and her also single sister owned the store, there were no males employed there. The woman pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss. The man agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me ...


2 Comments, 82 Views, 8 Votes ,3.71 Score
kinginsize07 58 M
18  Articles
presidential wives   12/21/2016

The wives of four presidents and prime minister are talking together about how a penis is called in their language.

The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering.

The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a patriot, because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on the back side.

The ...


1 Comments, 79 Views, 9 Votes ,5.14 Score
kinginsize07 58 M
18  Articles
robot   12/21/2016

A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it at dinner. ", where were you today?" The says "at school dad." Robot slaps the ! "Ok, I watched a dvd at my friends house!" "What dvd?" "Toy story." Robot slaps the again! "Ok, it was a porno" cries the . "What! When I was your age I didn't know what porn was" says the dad. Robot slaps the dad! Mom laughs ...


2 Comments, 71 Views, 8 Votes ,5.10 Score
kinginsize07 58 M
18  Articles
other hand   12/21/2016

Clever Teacher



A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.



"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever."



A smart ass guy in the ...


1 Comments, 81 Views, 6 Votes ,4.50 Score
kinginsize07 58 M
18  Articles
latex gloves   12/21/2016

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves. "Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked. "No, I don't." "Well, " he spoofed, "there's a building in Mexico with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw ...


0 Comments, 73 Views, 5 Votes ,4.77 Score
kinginsize07 58 M
18  Articles
real kings   12/21/2016

Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought always happiness and peace into people's lives?"



Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.


0 Comments, 19 Views, 5 Votes ,4.12 Score
kinginsize07 58 M
18  Articles
speech problem   12/21/2016

Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other: "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?" "Yeah, sure thing, " replied his friend, "fire away." "Well, " said the first guy, "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?" "It's probably because of her speech impediment, " replied the second guy. ...


0 Comments, 57 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
kinginsize07 58 M
18  Articles
rooster n cat   12/21/2016

There was a rooster and a cat walking by the pool, the cat fell in and the rooster fell to the ground laughing....

Moral of the story...

Where there is a wet pussy there is a happy cock!!!


0 Comments, 11 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
kinginsize07 58 M
18  Articles
7 kinds of sex   12/21/2016

SEVEN KINDS OF SEX The 1st kind of sex is called ... Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet Someone and you both have sex until you are Blue in the face. The 2nd kind of sex is called ... Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so needy you will have Sex anywhere, even in the kitchen. The 3rd kind of sex is called ... Bedroom Sex. ...


0 Comments, 39 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
nfighter777gm 32 M
7  Articles
Jokes   12/21/2016

do you guys have any good jokes


1 Comments, 8 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
...Holiday Season Joke   12/18/2016

..2 Blondes are chatting about the Holidays...the first one goes "Did you know Christmas is on a Friday this year?"...the other one a little scared " Well hopefully it is not Friday the 13th...!!!"


0 Comments, 30 Views, 3 Votes ,5.39 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
I love blonde jokes 2   12/17/2016

Blonde walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."


2 Comments, 46 Views, 7 Votes ,4.82 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
I love blonde jokes   12/17/2016

One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt. The doctor ask's her what had happened. She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakanly picked up the iron instead of the phone. "Well that explains one ear, but what about the other." "The bastard called again"


2 Comments, 40 Views, 6 Votes ,5.36 Score
Indian on horseback   12/15/2016

A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon ...


2 Comments, 138 Views, 9 Votes ,4.71 Score
Ornaments   12/11/2016

Do you know why ornaments are addicted to christmas?



They are hooked on trees


1 Comments, 14 Views, 6 Votes ,3.37 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
It's a Joke 2   12/8/2016

Its important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks, cleans and has a job. Its important to have a woman who can make you laugh. Its important to have a woman you can trust and who would never lie. Its important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes being with you. Its absolutely important that these four women never meet.


3 Comments, 46 Views, 6 Votes ,4.79 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
It's a Joke   12/8/2016

A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door.

It is opened by a little ten year-old boy who has a lighted cigar in one hand, a glass of whiskey in the other and a Penthouse magazine tucked under his arm.

Salesman: "Hello . Is your mom or dad home ?"

Little boy: "What the fuck do you think?"


1 Comments, 63 Views, 10 Votes ,5.38 Score
A Love Story   12/3/2016

A man was lying in bed with his new girl friend. After having great sex she spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles. This was something he loved having done.

As he was enjoying it he turned to her and asked, “Why do you like doing this so much?”

She replied, “Because I miss mine so much!”



I TOLD YOU IT WAS A LOVE STORY!!!!


2 Comments, 59 Views, 5 Votes ,2.82 Score
Advice for an old guy....   12/3/2016

He was working out at the gym when he spotted a sweet young thing walking in....

He asked the trainer standing next to him, "What machine should I use to impress that lady over there?"

The trainer looked him over and said; "I would recommend the ATM in the lobby."


2 Comments, 52 Views, 8 Votes ,4.64 Score
urguy2015 41 M
6  Articles
a little humor   11/30/2016

A man is working a a dildo store, when a brunette walks in. She asks him how much for the black dildo? He replies $50 for the black one, $50 for the white one. She leaves without purchasing anything. A red head walks in and asks him how much for the white dildo? He replies $50 for the white one, $50 for the black one. she doesn't buy anything. A blonde enters the store and asks him how much for a ...


1 Comments, 129 Views, 8 Votes ,5.10 Score
sexaddictdon 66 M
31  Articles
Oldie but a goodie....   11/23/2016

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.

The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, and then shuddered violently once more.

Assuming that the woman ...



9 Comments, 277 Views, 34 Votes ,6.74 Score
autopalm77 51 M
7  Articles
Tree or a bush...????   11/18/2016

What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush.....


2 Comments, 40 Views, 9 Votes ,3.00 Score
autopalm77 51 M
7  Articles
Glazed donuts...???...   11/18/2016

Q: Who's the most popular male at a nudist colony?  A: The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.....


2 Comments, 30 Views, 8 Votes ,3.48 Score
autopalm77 51 M
7  Articles
Ah....Oh....!!!...   11/17/2016

The doc told a guy that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it, " He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it before he got home to his wife. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he realized ...


3 Comments, 157 Views, 16 Votes ,5.04 Score
autopalm77 51 M
7  Articles
Buzzzzzz.....   11/17/2016

SEX JOKESSUBMIT A JOKE!

Category

A guy takes his girlfriend to his bedroom, drops his pants, and says, "Meet my little brother." The girlfriend picks up her purse on the way out and says, "Call me when he grows up."

dkfg

285 64

Q: Why is Cinderella still a virgin? A: Because she runs away from all the balls.

cool boi

281 97 ...


2 Comments, 62 Views, 10 Votes ,5.97 Score
The Test   11/14/2016

I went to my nearby CVS Pharmacy, straight to the back, where the Pharmacists’ high counter is located. I took out my little brown bottle, along with a teaspoon, and set them up on the counter.

The Pharmacist came over, smiled, and asked if he could help me. I said, "Yes! Could you please taste this for me?"

Seeing a senior citizen, the Pharmacist went along. He took the ...


2 Comments, 166 Views, 11 Votes ,3.54 Score
whorecurious 62 C
164  Articles
laugh   11/13/2016

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629.


2 Comments, 69 Views, 12 Votes ,2.80 Score
ballzdeep1992 27 M
11  Articles
Nantucket   11/9/2016

There once was a man from Nantucket who's dick was so long he could suck it. He smiled with a grin ad he looks down his chin. If his ear was a cunt he would fuck it.


2 Comments, 26 Views, 6 Votes ,2.80 Score
ballzdeep1992 27 M
11  Articles
Life   11/9/2016

Life is like a bag of weed u get wat u paid for.


0 Comments, 14 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
ballzdeep1992 27 M
11  Articles
Funny haha   11/9/2016

I'm not racist but joke is lol. A black guy walks down the beach where he comes across a magic lamp. So he rubs. Sure enough a genie popped out. But since the genie is racist he tells the man u can have two instead of 3 wishes. The man thought fora second and snapped his fingers I got it. I wish I was white an surrounded by pussy an the genie went bam an turned him into a tampon lol. Not racist ...


1 Comments, 43 Views, 6 Votes ,3.93 Score
ballzdeep1992 27 M
11  Articles
Funny haha   11/9/2016

I'm not racist but joke is lol. A black guy walks down the beach where he comes across a magic lamp. So he rubs. Sure enough a genie popped out. But since the genie is racist he tells the man u can have two instead of 3 wishes. The man thought fora second and snapped his fingers I got it. I wish I was white an surrounded by pussy an the genie went bam an turned him into a tampon lol. Not racist ...


2 Comments, 25 Views, 4 Votes ,2.47 Score
MsCarlalee 61 T
9  Articles
A Penis Study   11/8/2016

In 1991, Duke University funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180, 000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the Man more pleasure during sex. After Duke published the study, Stanford decided to do their own study. After three years of research and $250, 000.00, they concluded that the reason ...


0 Comments, 114 Views, 9 Votes ,4.28 Score
kinginsize07 58 M
18  Articles
the gr8 rulers   10/24/2016

The 3 kings that still rule this world since eternity:

1. Suc KING (sucking)

2. Lic KING (licking)

3. Fuc KING (fucking) no one can dethrone them....lol


1 Comments, 24 Views, 5 Votes ,3.47 Score
alayzoo 41 M
1  Article
Nuns and the bus   10/23/2016

A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them "Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single-file line." And they do so. St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her ...


2 Comments, 151 Views, 10 Votes ,4.98 Score
comsweet3 34 F
0  Articles
Jokes   10/22/2016

At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old were having 
a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist’s work. They finally went with mine.

“I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral, ” I said.

“No, ” said the boy. “Your painting’s wider, so it’ll cover three holes in 
our wall.”


0 Comments, 70 Views, 8 Votes ,3.25 Score
wickedcat2006 49 F
145  Articles
smart !!   10/21/2016

mother: "... who is the 40th president of America?"

: " I dont know mom."

Mother: " its Sir Ronald Regan ....(after consfiscating the new game console)you have to put away the games and concentrate on your studies"

30 minutes later ,

: " mom, i have a question for you?"

Mom: " what is it ?"

: " who is Ms. Betty Winkler?"

Mom: " i dont ...


2 Comments, 163 Views, 14 Votes ,4.10 Score
I_BRANDY 75 M
11  Articles
Another vote for the Don   10/14/2016

Monica Lowinski is voting for Trump. She said the last Clinton in office left a bad taste in her mouth.


3 Comments, 49 Views, 8 Votes ,3.94 Score
bfjax 35 F
1  Article
Spanish Magician   10/14/2016

A Spanish magician was ending his show and said, "On the count of three I will disappear. Uno, dos -" then *poof!* he disappeared without a tres.


3 Comments, 84 Views, 15 Votes ,3.44 Score
kinginsize07 58 M
18  Articles
Presidentsn Penis   10/12/2016

The wives of four presidents and prime minister are talking together about how a penis is called in their language.

The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering.

The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a patriot, because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on the back side.

The ...


1 Comments, 132 Views, 10 Votes ,5.38 Score
kinginsize07 58 M
18  Articles
kings n happiness   10/12/2016

Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"



Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.


1 Comments, 45 Views, 6 Votes ,4.79 Score
kinginsize07 58 M
18  Articles
speech problem   10/12/2016

Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other: "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?" "Yeah, sure thing, " replied his friend, "fire away." "Well, " said the first guy, "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?" "It's probably because of her speech impediment, " replied the second guy. ...


3 Comments, 132 Views, 8 Votes ,4.64 Score
kinginsize07 58 M
18  Articles
permanent erection   10/12/2016

A man walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and as she and her also single sister owned the store, there were no males employed there. The woman pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss. The man agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me ...


2 Comments, 131 Views, 9 Votes ,5.14 Score
absolutely0 53 M
1  Article
Japanese Pussy Hair   10/12/2016

Q: Did you hear that Japanese girls only have hair on one side of their pussy? A: Yeah, on the outSIDE


2 Comments, 27 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
urguy2015 41 M
6  Articles
a few good oneliners   10/11/2016

Why did God create orgasms? So women can moan even when they're happy.

Do you know why women fake orgasms? Because men fake foreplay.

What do girls and noodles have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.

Why do women fake orgasms ? Because they think men care.

Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms.


1 Comments, 36 Views, 6 Votes ,3.08 Score
urguy2015 41 M
6  Articles
a few good oneliners   10/11/2016

Why did God create orgasms? So women can moan even when they're happy.

Do you know why women fake orgasms? Because men fake foreplay.

What do girls and noodles have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.

Why do women fake orgasms ? Because they think men care.

Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms.


1 Comments, 12 Views, 5 Votes ,2.16 Score
urguy2015 41 M
6  Articles
a little funny for the day   10/11/2016

Once there was a sperm named Bob. When all the other sperm were just swimming around, Bob was doing sprints and lifting weights. One day, all the other sperms asked him, "Why don't you just swim around like us?" Bob replied, with a smirk, "Well, when the time comes, I'm gonna be the first one there." The others told him it was just destiny, but he said it wasn't. So, the day finally came when ...


0 Comments, 93 Views, 7 Votes ,3.30 Score
rm_TitoRox777 58 M
1  Article
Is this joke funny?   10/8/2016

A guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a fuckin' checking account" To which the lady replied, "I beg your pardon, what did you say?" "Listen up dammit, I said I want to open a fuckin' checking account right now." "Sir, I'm sorry but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!" The teller left the window and went over to the bank manager and told ...


1 Comments, 130 Views, 10 Votes ,3.19 Score
kinginsize07 58 M
18  Articles
the lost opportunity   10/5/2016

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’ The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’ ...


1 Comments, 139 Views, 10 Votes ,5.38 Score
kinginsize07 58 M
18  Articles
newly married couple humour   10/5/2016

The wife tells her husband, “Honey, you know I’m a virgin and I don’t know anything about Love. Can you explain it to me first?”

“OK, Sweetheart, putting it simply, we will call your private place ‘the prison’ and call my private thing ‘the prisoner’.

So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time. ...


1 Comments, 119 Views, 8 Votes ,3.71 Score
urguy2015 41 M
6  Articles
golf joke   10/3/2016

Three men went Las Vegas and after a losing their money at the blackjack tables, the best friends decided to stay off the strip in a not so lavish hotel and the guy that owned it had 18 daughters so the first man went up to they're father and said "can I sleep with your 18 daughters?" the father said "no but you can sleep with the pigs." the second man went to the father and said "can I sleep ...


0 Comments, 98 Views, 3 Votes ,4.90 Score
NicoNor69 32 M
1  Article
Joke   10/2/2016

"Mom, where do tampons go?"

"Where the babies come from, darling."

"In a stork???!!!"


1 Comments, 36 Views, 5 Votes ,3.47 Score
rm_BIGYODAG2 65 M
24  Articles
Squirll problems at places of worship   9/29/2016

There were four churches and a synagogue in a small town: a Presbyterian church, a Baptist church, a Methodist church, a Catholic church and a Jewish synagogue. Each church and the synagogue had a problem with squirrels.

The Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined the squirrels were predestined ...


1 Comments, 98 Views, 6 Votes ,4.50 Score
frenchkiz4u2 53 F
27  Articles
lipstick on his shorts   9/29/2016

Last week I was sitting at the bar of our local VFW , there was a lady sitting across the other side of the bar from me with dark red lipstick, she chewed gum and drank her beer same time. There happened to be an elderly man sitting beside me, he was a funny ole guy always making fun of someone. He said real loud to the lipstick lady, Baby I'd love for you to put a lipstick ring around my ...


0 Comments, 129 Views, 8 Votes
mutualpleasure83 46 M
6  Articles
Autopsy professor   9/26/2016

An autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. 'There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear.' Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. 'Now you must do the same, ' he told the class. After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, ...


3 Comments, 97 Views, 8 Votes ,5.10 Score
abbaqe 63 C
2  Articles
Tale of the Flying Dildo   9/25/2016

I just posted this in the advice column, I figured I'd repost it here where it belongs.

Tale of the Flying Dildo.

Once upon a time: A horny young lady on a budget was in a Sex Shop searching for a toy. The salesperson showed her a deeply discounted yet powerful and vigorous dildo, it was priced very low. Yet this model worked on voice command. It had the ability to come out of ...


0 Comments, 85 Views, 9 Votes ,3.64 Score
....good advice...   9/23/2016

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me—it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. ...


2 Comments, 129 Views, 13 Votes ,6.00 Score
...at the pool...   9/22/2016

two guys, a white one and a black guy sitting naked at the edge of a pool and let their "best friends" hang in the water while sunbathing...after a while the white one says: " The water has 82 F""...silence...shortly thereafter the black dude says :" and the pool is 20 inches deep..." lmao...


0 Comments, 73 Views, 6 Votes ,2.51 Score
My Granddaughter   9/21/2016

I’m 65 years old. My wife died of cancer three years ago. I went into a deep depression. Nothing, and nobody, could get me out of it. It lasted two years. One day I woke up and said this is BS. I got up and showered and shaved. I got dressed in good clothes for the first time in two years and left the house.

I wandered around town looking at all the changes of the last two years. ...


1 Comments, 292 Views, 15 Votes ,4.36 Score
sexaddictdon 66 M
31  Articles
I won the lottery ....   9/20/2016

A man gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and shouts: "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery, I won the lottery!"

The wife says: "Honey, I don't understand. Slow down, I did not hear you clearly"

He says: " I won the lottery, I won the lottery...start packing!"

The wife says: "Wow! That's great! Should I pack for the ocean, or should I pack for the snow?" ...


0 Comments, 95 Views, 10 Votes ,4.98 Score
nice2eatu2019 59 M
41  Articles
Free Meat   9/20/2016

It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally, he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.

He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the , who had been ...


1 Comments, 108 Views, 7 Votes ,5.33 Score
At the Bar   9/18/2016

“Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was ...


3 Comments, 98 Views, 11 Votes ,4.66 Score
wickedcat2006 49 F
145  Articles
inches!!   9/18/2016

you know the look!, yea..." the look", I am referring to the look ok your face whilst having sex with someone for the first time and you hear the moan and groans , yes baby! yes!! baby...fuck me harder!!, , deeper, deeper baby, !!!

then you look down .......and you realise that you are all out of" INCHES"!!!


2 Comments, 66 Views, 13 Votes ,3.48 Score
Sneak Home   9/17/2016

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway, shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed ...


2 Comments, 90 Views, 11 Votes ,4.66 Score
rm_KevPtt66 38 M
1  Article
Life is like a box of choclates!!   9/17/2016

Forrest Gump once said "Life is like a box of choclates, you never know what your gonna get"...BOLLOCKS - Life's like Oral SEX, One slip of the tongue your in the Shit..


1 Comments, 22 Views, 5 Votes ,4.45 Score
sexaddictdon 66 M
31  Articles
Family Dinner Conversation!   9/16/2016

A family is at the dinner table. The asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, , a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the asks. “Yes. You see them and ...


1 Comments, 77 Views, 10 Votes ,5.18 Score
Watch   9/15/2016

I have two sexy lesbian close friends and for my birthday they got me a Rolex. Its great at telling the time but I don't think they understood what I meant when I said "I wanted to watch!"


1 Comments, 32 Views, 7 Votes ,3.30 Score
mutualpleasure83 46 M
6  Articles
Ski Lodge   9/14/2016

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, “I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!” The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he’s had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, “That’s funny, I dreamed I was skiing!”


1 Comments, 38 Views, 9 Votes ,3.00 Score
mutualpleasure83 46 M
6  Articles
Local Ad   9/14/2016

A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. “Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed.” Two days later her doorbell rings. “Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won’t run away.” “What makes you think you are great in bed?” the woman retorts. Tim replies, “I rang the doorbell, ...


2 Comments, 36 Views, 7 Votes ,4.31 Score
mutualpleasure83 46 M
6  Articles
Why did I get divorced?   9/12/2016

Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my . I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you ...


3 Comments, 120 Views, 12 Votes ,4.57 Score
zeethehun 40 M
8  Articles
Sounds   9/11/2016

How do you classify women based on the sounds they make during sex?

- There are the sopranos who say "Ahh.. Ahh... Ahhh..." - The mezzo-sopranos saying "Ohhh... oohh... oohhh..." - The Contraltos yelling "Uhh.. Uhh... Uhhh..." - The opera singers who cover all three above and make sure the whole neighborhood knows you are doing her. - The positives screaming "Yes... Yess... Yess..." - ...


2 Comments, 48 Views, 9 Votes ,2.36 Score
gay jokes   9/9/2016

how do you fit 4 gay guys on a bar stool ? turn the stool over.

why do gay guys used ribbed condoms ? for traction in the mud

what do u call a gay guys ball sack ? mud flaps


1 Comments, 21 Views, 5 Votes ,2.82 Score
gay jokes   9/9/2016

how do you fit 4 gay guys on a bar stool ? turn the stool over.

why do gay guys used ribbed condoms ? for traction in the mud

what do u call a gay guys ball sack ? mud flaps


0 Comments, 12 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
mutualpleasure83 46 M
6  Articles
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?   9/6/2016

A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.


2 Comments, 32 Views, 8 Votes ,0.70 Score
bbcinorlando 39 M
6  Articles
rude joke   9/5/2016

How do you embarrass an archeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.


1 Comments, 20 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
nice2eatu2019 59 M
41  Articles
Have You Seen Ilene?   9/5/2016

This guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender looks at the guy and says, "Have you seen Ilene?"

The guy is rather confused and asks, "Ilene who?" The bartender replies, "I lean over and you kiss my ass."

Well the man was offended by this and walks out the door and into the bar across the street. So he sits down and orders a beer. While he is drinking his beer he ...


1 Comments, 100 Views, 8 Votes ,4.64 Score
zeethehun 40 M
8  Articles
Performance   9/5/2016

This old man goes to the doctor and says:

"Doc, you've got to do something. I cannot perform as I could when I was younger."

"What do you mean?" - asks the doctor.

"The first goes just fine. Then the second, I get tired. But I simply cannot continue after the third." - the old man complains.

"Well, in your age three is quite a good performance, I would say. Why ...


0 Comments, 83 Views, 8 Votes ,4.41 Score
zeethehun 40 M
8  Articles
Confession   9/5/2016

Old Kohn, goes to the confession in the church of a small town. He kneels down and says:

"Forgive me Father for I have sinned." - he starts.

"Is that you Mr. Kohn?" - asks the father.

"Yes, but I'm here to confess. So forgive me Father for I have sinned."

"Well... OK... I guess... What's your sin my ?" - asks the father confused.

"As you know father, I ...


0 Comments, 76 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
urguy2015 41 M
6  Articles
M&M joke   9/2/2016

Three guys die in a car crash a white guy, a mexican and a black man. Before they get to heaven the devil has to get a shot at them so he stops them and says "hey i am going to grab on to each of your dicks and if it melts you go to hell" They all look at each other and shrug their shoulders thinking fair enough. The white guy puffs out his chest and says "give it your best shot" The devil ...


1 Comments, 93 Views, 7 Votes ,4.06 Score
zeethehun 40 M
8  Articles
Future   9/2/2016

Little Johnny and little Suzy playing in the swimming pool. Little Johnny looks at Suzy and says: "Nananaaaa... You don't have this thing between your leeeegs..." "Nananaaaa... Mommy said, when I grow up, I can have as many as I waaant..." - she comes back.


0 Comments, 47 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
wickedcat2006 49 F
145  Articles
words!!!   9/1/2016

a husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use per day....30000 to a man's 15000.

The wife replied. "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men".

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"


1 Comments, 42 Views, 8 Votes ,5.10 Score
593_rockstar 43 M
3  Articles
Add your sex joke   9/1/2016

sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner. You better have a good hand!


0 Comments, 2 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
sexicani1990 33 M
2  Articles
The NHL   9/1/2016

NHL is the real joke and not even a real sport !!!


0 Comments, 5 Views, 0 Votes
Profiles   9/1/2016

A few guys in here - disguises themselves as women- please take precautions .

When they Ask for Photos of your asshole.... Beware.


0 Comments, 15 Views, 4 Votes ,4.80 Score
stlover1982 36 M
1  Article
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?   8/31/2016

Lickalotapus.


0 Comments, 5 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
bbcinorlando 39 M
6  Articles
adult jokes   8/28/2016

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

Beat it. We’re closed.

Why was the guitar teacher arrested?

For fingering a minor.

What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Goodyear. The other’s ...


0 Comments, 48 Views, 7 Votes ,3.30 Score
Meow   8/26/2016

A Girl was towelling her wet pussy. She enjoyed it so much that she began to rub it vigorously until... ...the pussy cried "Meow" and runs away.

Moral Lessons 1. Be kind to Animals 2. Always keep your thoughts clean...


1 Comments, 25 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
youngcock972016 26 M
1  Article
overly used joke   8/23/2016

whats the difference between 69 and 6.9?

a great thing fucked up by a period


5 Comments, 37 Views, 13 Votes ,3.98 Score
chaps2016 48 M
10  Articles
My Favorite Animal   8/23/2016

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny; but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much.

I do, ...


0 Comments, 89 Views, 8 Votes ,5.56 Score
Swallow   8/23/2016

Do any men taste their own cum? Swallow it?


3 Comments, 41 Views, 8 Votes
wickedcat2006 49 F
145  Articles
trump!!   8/21/2016

Me: There are 3 Mexican roosters on one side of the street how many legs do they have? Trump: 6 Me: how many wings? Trump: 6 Me: how many eyes? Trump: 6 Me: Ok, There are 3 white cats on the other side of the street how many eyes do they have? Trump: 6 Me: How many ears do they have? Trump: 6 Me: How many whiskers do they have? Trump: I don't fucking know. Me: Seems like you know more ...


4 Comments, 104 Views, 19 Votes ,4.84 Score
nice2eatu2019 59 M
41  Articles
Know the Right Word   8/20/2016

A man goes to the doctor's and says, “I would I like to get castrated". The doctor tries to convince him but the man won't listen. All he keeps on saying is, "I want to get castrated! I want to get castrated! I want to get castrated!”

The doctor says, "Your life will be changed after this operation. Do you still want to go ahead?"

“Yes!"

After a few hours the man ...


2 Comments, 105 Views, 9 Votes ,4.71 Score
zeethehun 40 M
8  Articles
Headache   8/18/2016

So this guy comes out of the bathroom, full monty with obvious signs of wanting to have some kinky-time. His wife looks at her and says:

"Nooo, Honey... I have a headache."

"No worries, darling. I just put some Aspirin on the tip of it, so now you can decide if you want to take it as a pill, or a suppository..."


1 Comments, 50 Views, 6 Votes ,3.65 Score
zeethehun 40 M
8  Articles
Hunter   8/17/2016

This hunter goes to the wild to shoot a bear. Finds a track, follows it to a cave. Hides behind a rock to see if there is movement in there. When he sees, he raises his gun and shoots into the dark.

The bear runs out in fury and grabs the hunter and tells: "You made me really angry, hunter. You have to make it up to me that you wanted to kill me, so kneel down and blow my dick." ...


1 Comments, 97 Views, 8 Votes ,5.10 Score
chaps2016 48 M
10  Articles
On The Campaign Trail "Political Humor"   8/15/2016

Trump and Hillary Go Into A Bakery on the Campaign Trail. As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket. She says to Trump, "See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie. I will definitely win the election."

Trump says to Hillary, "That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire ...


2 Comments, 113 Views, 14 Votes ,5.22 Score
zeethehun 40 M
8  Articles
Night school   8/15/2016

Two policemen are walking the streets on duty in DC. They pass the Lincoln Memorial.

"Do you know, which president Lincoln was?"

"I have no idea."

"Well... If you went to the Night School, you would know that he was the 16th president."

They walk a bit more and pass the White house.

"Do you know how many rooms are there in the White House?"

...


3 Comments, 107 Views, 10 Votes ,4.18 Score
zeethehun 40 M
8  Articles
Farmer   8/15/2016

This old man goes to the doctor for help:

"Doc, we are happily married couple for 59 years now. I love my wife, and now that we'll have 60th anniversary, I want to... You know... One last time do her really good, but... Well... The Captain is not as fit as he used to be."

"Don't you worry a second. Take this pill, and at the beginning of the dinner, take it. I can guarantee, ...


1 Comments, 104 Views, 13 Votes ,4.65 Score
zeethehun 40 M
8  Articles
Broadcast   8/15/2016

This girl wants to send a message to her grandma over the radio. Goes to the station's studio to talk to the DJ. He listens to the request and tells her:

"You know... There's a price for this."

"Of course. Anything you want."

"Well, then..." starts the DJ while taking off his pants "... Go down to your knees and get started."

Surely she kneels in front of him, ...


1 Comments, 80 Views, 6 Votes ,4.22 Score
under33needed 38 M
3  Articles
idk   8/12/2016



?


1 Comments, 20 Views, 4 Votes ,2.47 Score
justmenow1963 60 M
1  Article
How do you make your wife scream twice?   8/11/2016

Fuck her in the ass, then pull it out and wipe iy on the curtains!


2 Comments, 30 Views, 7 Votes ,3.04 Score
just something funny   8/11/2016

My girlfriend came out of the shower and said, I shaved my pussy you know what that means ? I said, yeah the drain is clogged again. No lovin for me that night lol.


1 Comments, 17 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
UZIoSUICIDE 50 M
27  Articles
Just checking......   8/11/2016

This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionalism goes right out the window...

He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.

"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?

"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.

He tells her to ...


0 Comments, 113 Views, 6 Votes ,4.22 Score
chaps2016 48 M
10  Articles
Take it to a vet   8/11/2016

A couple driving home hit and wonded a skunk on the road.

The wife gets out and brings it back to the car.

We need to take it to a vet. it's shivering, it must be cold, what should I do?.. she asks

Put it between your legs to keep it warm!..he replies

But it STINKS.... she exclaims...

So hold its nose........


0 Comments, 48 Views, 6 Votes ,3.93 Score
NorthlandMan1968 66 M
2  Articles
Looking to Shed those extra Pounds   8/10/2016

A guy goes to a weight loss clinic and says he needs to lose 20 lbs. The receptionist sends him upstairs, where he finds a beautiful naked woman with a sign that says "If you catch me, you can screw me." An hour later, he emerges, sated and 20 lbs. lighter. A month later, he returns and needs to lose 50 lbs. The receptionist sends him upstairs again, but this time there are two girls with the ...


0 Comments, 29 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
MsCarlalee 61 T
9  Articles
The Contest   8/10/2016

DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of 'MateMatch'?" Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have." DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando , Florida if you win. What is your name? First name only please." Contestant: "Brian." DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?" Brian: "Yes." DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?" Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, ...


1 Comments, 83 Views, 6 Votes ,5.36 Score
MsCarlalee 61 T
9  Articles
What are friends for?   8/10/2016

One evening, Mike went over to his friend's house to play cards with Terry and some other friends. Mike sat directly across from Terry's wife Susan.

When Mike dropped a playing card on the floor and bent down to pick it up, he looked across underneath the table and saw that Terry's wife had her legs wide open with no panties on. Mike then sat up and tried hiding the fact that he was ...


2 Comments, 110 Views, 7 Votes ,4.31 Score
UZIoSUICIDE 50 M
27  Articles
Best advice from a Rabbi...   8/9/2016

A man goes to see the Rabbi. 'Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.' The Rabbi asked, 'What's wrong?' The man replied, 'My wife is poisoning me.' The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, 'How can that be?' The man then pleads, 'I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?' The Rabbi then offers, 'Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll ...


0 Comments, 73 Views, 6 Votes ,4.50 Score
MsCarlalee 61 T
9  Articles
Superman is Horny   8/9/2016

One fine day, Superman went to visit his good friend Wonder Woman.

As he approached her front door, he heard some moaning sounds coming from an open window.

Curious, he went to the window and peered inside.

The sight he saw was shocking.

Wonder Woman was naked on her bed. Her legs were spread wide open, her arms were at her side, her eyes were closed, and she ...


1 Comments, 65 Views, 9 Votes ,4.92 Score
Paul2466B 52 M
5  Articles
Blind Man   8/8/2016

The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door." So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?" "Blind man!" The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's ...


0 Comments, 80 Views, 7 Votes ,4.06 Score
Paul2466B 52 M
5  Articles
Cost of Viagra   8/7/2016

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their overnight . When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his 's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. The said, "I don't think you should take one Dad, they're very strong and very expensive." "How much?" asked Grandpa. "$10.00 a pill, " answered the . "I don't care, " said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the ...


0 Comments, 117 Views, 11 Votes ,5.22 Score
Paul2466B 52 M
5  Articles
Olympic Condoms   8/7/2016

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack.

Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.

“Olympic condoms?”, she blurts, “What makes them so special?”

“There are three colors”, he replies, “Gold, Silver and Bronze.”

“What color are you going to wear ...


0 Comments, 87 Views, 7 Votes ,4.82 Score
Paul2466B 52 M
5  Articles
Martian Trip   8/6/2016

The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.

Mike asks if Mars has a stock-market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex. “Just how do you guys do it?” asks Maureen.

“Pretty much the way ...


1 Comments, 69 Views, 7 Votes ,4.57 Score
Paul2466B 52 M
5  Articles
Tattoo   8/6/2016

Eric gets home late one night and Sarah, his wife, asks “Where the hell have you been?” Eric replies “I was out getting a tattoo!”

“A tattoo”? She frowned. “What kind of tattoo did you get?”

“I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates” he said proudly.

“What the hell were you thinking”? She said, shaking her head in disgust. “Why on earth would ...


1 Comments, 80 Views, 7 Votes ,5.59 Score
nice2eatu2019 59 M
41  Articles
Where Are You Going?   8/6/2016

An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk. She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily, he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to go back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then, you used to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck ...


3 Comments, 106 Views, 9 Votes ,4.28 Score
wickedcat2006 49 F
145  Articles
gotcha!!!   8/5/2016

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?



































A: The Rooster...


1 Comments, 30 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
abyy82 35 M
2  Articles
Non Veg adult   8/4/2016

Funny Non veg adults jokes, some double meaning, some dirty.


1 Comments, 37 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
abyy82 35 M
2  Articles
Non Veg adult   8/4/2016

Funny Non veg adults jokes, some double meaning, some dirty.


2 Comments, 31 Views, 4 Votes ,2.47 Score
nice2eatu2019 59 M
41  Articles
Pumpernickel Bread   8/2/2016

Two men are walking on the boardwalk. One says to the other, “I’ve got to run. Have to hurry home to make love with my wife.”

The other man looks astounded. “Make love to your wife? You are as old as I am! Nearly ninety-five years old! What do you mean you have to go home and make love to your wife?"

The first man says, “We have a great sex life. We make love three ...


2 Comments, 89 Views, 9 Votes ,3.64 Score
Condom Size   8/1/2016

One day at the pharmacy a man walked in with a troubled look on his face. The pharmacist noticed and asked if he could help him. The man replys, "I'm looking for some condoms." The pharmacist asked, "Do you know what size you are?" The man said, "Well...not exactly." The pharmacist pulls out from behind his counter a board with aligned holes on it, going from big to small. He tells the man to go ...


1 Comments, 86 Views, 7 Votes ,4.06 Score
Paul2466B 52 M
5  Articles
Area 51   8/1/2016

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?" Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and ...


1 Comments, 73 Views, 8 Votes ,4.17 Score
Paul2466B 52 M
5  Articles
Condom Packs   8/1/2016

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old . They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?" The man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, . Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh I see, " replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks, "Why ...


1 Comments, 67 Views, 7 Votes ,5.08 Score
More Golf Humor   7/31/2016

What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? Wash your balls.

Why are golf and sex so similar? They are the two things you can thoroughly enjoy even though you are really bad at them.

A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right?"

...


2 Comments, 47 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
yurnailsinmyback 54 M
1  Article
Eating Pussy   7/31/2016

A guy goes into a whorehouse and he goes upstairs and starts eating out this chicks pussy. Not long after he started he feels something between his teeth and he spits out a small piece of lettuce! He thought to himself how strange that is...so he went back to eating her pussy. Not long after that he felt something else between his teeth and he spits out a small piece of a tomato! He thought to ...


2 Comments, 77 Views, 4 Votes ,2.08 Score
bastards and bitches   7/31/2016

“A little boy and his friends are being called bastards and bitches by bullies at school. The boy goes home and asks, "Dad, what are bastards and bitches?" And his dad replies, "Bitches are ladies and bastards are gentlemen." Then the boy goes upstairs to see his mom. As he enters the room, he accidentally drops a perfume bottle, and his mom says, "Shit!" "Mom, what is shit?" and she says, ...


2 Comments, 75 Views, 6 Votes ,3.37 Score
wickedcat2006 49 F
145  Articles
survey says!!!   7/30/2016

The United States funded a study to determine why the head on a mans' penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over $1.2 million. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They ...


3 Comments, 67 Views, 12 Votes ,4.74 Score
Superman :)   7/30/2016

Superman is flying around the city, horny as hell. He suddenly sees Wonder Woman spread eagle, naked on top of the building. Superman thinks, "This is my chance!" He swoops down, faster than a speeding bullet bangs her and is gone in the blink of an eye. Wonder Woman sits up and says, "What the hell was that!?" The Invisible Man rolls off her and says, "I have no idea but it hurt like hell!"


0 Comments, 27 Views, 5 Votes ,3.47 Score
wickedcat2006 49 F
145  Articles
wise!   7/30/2016

A father is asked by his friend, "Has your decided what he wants to be when he grows up?" "Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector, " replied the boy's father. His friend thought for a moment and responded, "That's a rather strange ambition to have for a career." "Well, " said the boy's father, "He thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"


2 Comments, 54 Views, 8 Votes ,4.41 Score
nice2eatu2019 59 M
41  Articles
What do I look like   7/29/2016

This woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house. He would come home from work, sit in front of the tv, eat dinner, and sit some more. He would never do those little household repairs that most husbands take care of. This frustrated the woman quite a bit. One day the toilet stopped up. When her husband got home, she said sweetly, "Honey, the toilet is clogged. Would you look ...


2 Comments, 61 Views, 7 Votes ,3.04 Score
You’re one in a million   7/28/2016

China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.


0 Comments, 18 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
rm_bruce9949 48 M
2  Articles
Japanese economy   7/27/2016

Fully half of all Japanese women are part- time or temporary workers. Most will leave the workforce for good after having their first . Which leads me to ask, who designed the Japanese economy, a 1950's soap opera director.


3 Comments, 35 Views, 8 Votes ,2.32 Score