|
or drug dealer 6/27/2007
Q: why is it better to be a than a drug dealer? A: A can wash her crack and sell it again....
2 Comments, 94 Views,
10 Votes
,2.59 Score |
|
Hand cream 6/26/2007
there once were two priests, father dick and father ray.
one day after a very long mass, the two priests decided to
hit the showers, halfway through there showers, the priests
realized that there was no soap. so, father ray says ...
0 Comments, 44 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score |
|
bar jokes 6/26/2007
A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants.
the Bartender says "Why do you have a steering wheel
in your pants? the man replies i don't know but its driving
me nuts"
0 Comments, 35 Views,
1 Votes
|
|
Political joke 6/26/2007
Bush and Gore were sitting in a restaurant to discuss the
craziness of the election, when the waitress came to take
their orders, Gore said, "i'll take the steak.
"When she asked Bush, he said, "i'll take
the quicky. "Gore motioned for the waitress to come
closer, and whispered into her ear "He means the quiche"
0 Comments, 38 Views,
2 Votes
|
|
Political joke 6/26/2007
WASHINGTON (REUTERS) A tragic fire on Monday destroted
the personal libray of President George W. Bush, both of
his books have been lost Presidential spokesman Ari Fleicher
said the President was devastated, as he had not finished
coloring the second one!
0 Comments, 26 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score |
|
Political joke 6/26/2007
One day about a month ago, Bill clinton was looking for a
. He found three such ladies in a local lounge-----a
blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. To the blonde he said
"i am the president of the united states. How much
would it cost me to spend sometime with you? The blonde replied, "Two
hundred dollars. "To the brunette he posed the same
question, and she replied, "One hundred dallors
"He then ...
0 Comments, 38 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score |
|
Political joke 6/26/2007
Bill clinton and Al Gore were taking a shower at the gym after
a strenous exercise. Bill looked down at Al's dick
and was shocked at how big it was. "My GOD, Al, that
thing is Huge! How'd you get it that big? "Bill
asked in awe. "Well every night, i whack it three times
against the bedpost, "He answered proudly, "Well
i'll have to try that, "Bill said. so that night
, when Bill got home, Hilary ...
0 Comments, 34 Views,
1 Votes
|
|
Why Was Raggedy Ann Thrown Out Of The Toy Box 6/26/2007
Q: Why Was Raggedy Ann Thrown out of the toy box? A: She kept
sitting on pinocchio's Face "Saying "Lie
to Me!"
0 Comments, 18 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
The Golf Pro 6/26/2007
A father put his three year old to bed, told her
a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying: "God
bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."
The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"
The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it
just seemed like the thing to do." The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange
...
2 Comments, 85 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score |
|
What's in a name? 6/26/2007
A good looking man walked into an agent's office in
Hollywood and said, "I want to be a movie star."
Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had
the right credentials.
The agent asked, "What's your name?"
The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."
The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in ...
3 Comments, 60 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score |
|
Of Beasts and Birds 6/26/2007
The guys were hangin at the bar last night, and spouting
the usual trash. Joe decided he would liken some of the crew
to animals; Jay was the Lion; big, brave and damn hairy.
Mike was a fox - cunning, nocturnal and very very ginger.
Me - a bear; fat-assed, grumpy and very often slumped on
all-fours.
In a logical twist, it moved on to birds. Joe the Kingfisher,
with all those tales of ...
1 Comments, 80 Views,
6 Votes
,2.23 Score |
|
Birds are man's best friend too. 6/25/2007
A man was in the pet shop and saw a peculiar looking parrot
looking at him. He went closer to get a better look and was surprised to hear
the parrot say "What are you lookin' at?"
The pet store owner came up to apologize but the man told
him it was okay. The man was very interested in the bird so
he decided to buy it. On the way home he was talking with the
bird and said that the manager had ...
2 Comments, 71 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score |
|
Smart Ass ! 6/25/2007
There was this guy who was in love with his wife but his job
took up a lot of his time. One Sunday afternoon, his wife
came home and said the boys were out playing, and maybe they
should do some playing of their own. The man thought about this and decided she was right. He embraced her and they began to kiss passionately. She
felt him getting hard and said he'd best be getting
that condom on and ...
3 Comments, 125 Views,
7 Votes
,4.06 Score |
|
Classic joke 6/25/2007
One day an indian asked his father why they have such long
names? the dad answers, "Well whenever a indian
baby is born the father would go outside and name the baby
after the first thing he sees...Why do you ask TWO DOGS FUCKING!
0 Comments, 46 Views,
2 Votes
,0.34 Score |
|
blonde joke 6/25/2007
Q What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
A they both swallowed a lot of semen!
0 Comments, 28 Views,
2 Votes
,0.34 Score |
|
blonde joke 6/25/2007
Q How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day? A She has a tampon
tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil!
0 Comments, 21 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score |
|
blonde joke 6/25/2007
Q Whats a blondes favorite nursery rhyme? A Humpme Dumpme!
0 Comments, 15 Views,
1 Votes
|
|
Tongue Twister 6/25/2007
i may not be a fig plucker nor a fig plucker's but
i can pluck figs until the fig pluckers come home!
0 Comments, 13 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score |
|
Salty 6/25/2007
A little girl goes to her mom after school says "Mommy
mommy i just saw johnny's willy" the moms shocked,
the little girl continues....it was like a PEANUT"
the mom giggles, and replies "Why? was it small"
the little girl says "NO! "it Was SALTY"
0 Comments, 87 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score |
|
Old mother huburt 6/25/2007
Old mother huburt went to the cuburt to get her poor a
bone but when she bent over rover took over cause he had a
bone of his own!
0 Comments, 19 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
New Lesbian line of sneakers 6/25/2007
Your hear about the new lesbian line of sneakers? They are
called "Dykies! unfortunately, the first batch
was recalled because the tongues weren't long enough!
0 Comments, 19 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score |
|
3 Words 6/25/2007
Whats 3 Words does a woman not want to hear when having sex?
Darling i'm home!
0 Comments, 39 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score |
|
Pinocchio And Raggedy Ann 6/25/2007
Q: Why was Raggedy Ann thrown out of the toy box? A: She kept
sitting on pinocchio's face, saying "Lie To
Me"
0 Comments, 15 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Nude Beach 6/25/2007
Two parents take their on vacation and go to a nude beach
. the father goes for a walk on the beach and the goes and
plays in the water. The comes running up to his mom and
says, "Mommy, i saw ladies with boobies alot bigger
than yours! The mom says, "The bigger they are the
dumber they are" So ...
0 Comments, 65 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
SuperMan Gets Horny 6/25/2007
One day superman is really horny and sees wonderwoman sunbathing
on a beach naked! he gets an idea... "They've
always said i'm faster than a speeding bullet and i've
always wondered what she'd be like with all her powers
so he zooms down and does her in a flash and is gone before
anyone can notice all of a sudden wonderwoman sits up and
says, "What was that? then the invisible man gets
off her ...
0 Comments, 30 Views,
1 Votes
|
|
"Hey, not a bad idea" 6/24/2007
A little old lady is walking down the street in Green Bay
WI., dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in
each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags, and every
once in a while a $50 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement.
Noticing this, a policeman stops her."Ma'am,
there are $50 bills falling out of that bag..." "Damn!"
says the little old lady....."I'd better go
back ...
0 Comments, 81 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score |
|
men are the head of the household 6/24/2007
When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise
, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two
lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household,
and the other line for the men who were dominated by their
women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter."
Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.
The line of men who were ...
0 Comments, 58 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score |
|
The Pope gone wild 6/23/2007
The Pope is rushed to the hospital with a very serious illness.
His bishops and doctors gather around him and break the
news. "Your Eminence, there is a cure for your condition,
but you are not gonna like it." The Bishop says. The Doctor chimes in, "Yes excellency, you will be
required to have sex in order to flush your system and speed
your path to recover." The Pope dismisses the doctor and ...
5 Comments, 97 Views,
8 Votes
,4.17 Score |
|
Monkey Business 6/23/2007
A drifter was walking down a lonely highway at night when
the lights of a semi breaching the hill caught his eyes.
I stuck out his thumb to hitch a ride and the truck driver
pulled over. "Where ya headin?" He asked the drifter. "Well, as far as I can get." He responds. It's not long before the road has caused the small talk
to fizzle out and the truck driver says to the drifter, "Hey,
I got ...
0 Comments, 65 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score |
|
Load it up!!! 6/22/2007
Ok this is a really good joke. Nobody take is serioulsy for
I am a blonde too but I still thought it was funny....
A man gets his dick sunburned. A buddy tells him to put it
in milk and that should help it. So the man goes home gets
a cup of milk and sticks his dick in the cup. Then his blonde
girlfriend walks in and says "Oh that's how you
load that thing."
7 Comments, 140 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score |