|
Thomas Edison 9/16/2019
Thomas Edison was probably the first guy to fuck a girl with
the lights on.
2 Comments, 19 Views,
16 Votes
,1.95 Score
|
|
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? 9/16/2019
The blunt pencil had a difficult time making a point...
0 Comments, 4 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
|
|
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? 9/16/2019
It never had a point. 
0 Comments, 3 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
|
|
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? 9/16/2019
It never had a point.
0 Comments, 3 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
|
|
points 9/16/2019
points points points points points points.
2 Comments, 10 Views,
6 Votes
,1.37 Score
|
|
points 9/16/2019
points points points points points points.
0 Comments, 8 Views,
7 Votes
,1.26 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/16/2019
The wife was bent over looking at something and it was to
good an opportunity to miss. I pulled her knickers to one side and did what nature intended.
Apparently we are banned from Walmart now .
1 Comments, 19 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/15/2019
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine
. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When
the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife
and the nine are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while,
the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of
the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, ...
2 Comments, 58 Views,
15 Votes
,3.74 Score
|
|
Mom 3some 9/13/2019
A guy is in a bar talking to a beautiful 60yr old woman things
get heated up and she whispers in his ear "have you
ever had a mom and 3some" the guy is thinking
if she looks this good at 60 her must be amazing.
So he goes home with her and as they head upstairs the woman
yells " mom take off your depends and clean yourself
up I brought us home a live one"
1 Comments, 26 Views,
11 Votes
,1.86 Score
|
|
Hotel porn 9/10/2019
A family walks into a hotel and he father goes to the front
desk to get a room. He says "I hope the porn is disabled".
The guy at the desk says "We just show regular porn
you sick fuck".
2 Comments, 19 Views,
12 Votes
,2.62 Score
|
|
Is the Earth really round ????? 9/9/2019
NASA lied us !!
2 Comments, 19 Views,
10 Votes
|
|
More Humour 9/9/2019
A of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed
to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was
the teacher insisted on no baby talk. "You need to use 'big people' words, "
she'd always remind them. She asked Chris what he had
done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people
words!" She ...
0 Comments, 79 Views,
15 Votes
,2.21 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/8/2019
A drunken Irishman is driving through the city of Dublin and his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over. "So, " says the cop to the driver, "where
have you been?" "I've been to the pub, " slurs the drunk.
"Well, " says the cop, "it looks like
you've had quite a few." "I did all right, " the drunk says ...
4 Comments, 64 Views,
13 Votes
,2.98 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/8/2019
One day little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if
he could him a £200 bicycle for his birthday. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we have an £80, 000
mortgage on the house, and you want to you a bicycle? Wait until Christmas." Christmas came around, and Johnny asked again. The father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely
, sorry about . Ask again some other ...
0 Comments, 49 Views,
13 Votes
,2.64 Score
|
|
When its an appropriate time to Joke about... 9/8/2019
When have you been able to joke about things with your partner.
Some of the short-cummins or long cummings etc. with your
partner? Have you been able to hold your tongue until there
was open air where you could share and accept your partners
critiques? Have you been with other couples where you enjoyed
things but maybe said something a bit too much? Then had
to walk it back.
1 Comments, 19 Views,
8 Votes
,0.70 Score
|
|
The biggest Vagina 9/7/2019
Three women are sitting at a bar arguing over who has the
biggest vagina. <br><br>
“The first girl says, ‘My boyfriend can fit a whole
fist up there.’ The second girl says, ‘Ha, my boyfriend
can fit two fists and a foot.’ The third girl just smiles
as she slides down the bar stool.”
2 Comments, 36 Views,
14 Votes
,1.70 Score
|
|
Food humor 9/7/2019
What is the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?
<br><br>
No one ever $200.00 to have a garbanzo bean on their
face.. <br><br>
<br><br>
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
<br><br>
beer nuts are over a dollar, deer nuts are under a buck.
0 Comments, 12 Views,
8 Votes
,2.09 Score
|
|
Doctor Viisit 9/7/2019
A guy is sitting at the doctor’s office. The doctor walks
in and says, “I have some bad news. I’m afraid you’re
going to have to stop masturbating.” <br><br>
“I don’t understand, doc, ” the patient says. “Why?”
<br><br>
“Because, ” the doctor says. “I’m trying to examine
you.”
1 Comments, 8 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/7/2019
Just pissed off the yoga instructor when she told the
class to "holler out your favorite position!"...
I yelled, "ANAL!"...
0 Comments, 6 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/7/2019
I met a beautiful girl and we were getting on great until
I asked her out for a drink and she stormed off. I'm beginning to think that every woman you meet at
AA is a lesbian...
0 Comments, 2 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
|
|
mornin' sexxx 9/6/2019
the wife was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual
soft-boiled egg and toast breakfast; wearing nothing
but the t-shirt she normally sleeps in. me, not being nearly
awake gave a bit of side eye when I walked in. she turned to
me and softly said, “you’ve got to get your dick out,
fuck me right now." it sounded so sexy when she said
it, that my eyes woke like it xmas morning. i ...
0 Comments, 51 Views,
9 Votes
,3.85 Score
|
|
Orgasms and sneezing 9/6/2019
I’ve heard the louder someone sneezes the louder they
orgasm- think about it
0 Comments, 7 Views,
5 Votes
,0.21 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/6/2019
A fledgling journalist has been sent out to an interview
an elderly lady for the local rag, she has just turned 104
and still lives at home. The journo scribbles down the old
lady's life story in shorthand; schooldays, war ,
loves, marriage, widowhood. Then he arrived at the crucial
question. Journo: "Well then Edna, the $64, 000 dollar question!
All our readers will want to know the ...
1 Comments, 31 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
|
|
Threesome 9/5/2019
Having just passed my 50th birthday, I met an older woman
in a bar the other night. She was in her late 60s, but in very
good shape for her age. We got talking and flirting and she
asked if I'd like to go back to hers for a "sportsman's
double". "What's that ?" I said.
"It's a mother and threesome".
Imagining a gorgeous lady about my age, I ...
2 Comments, 36 Views,
7 Votes
,2.02 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/5/2019
I was sat in a bar with my wife last night. She looked at me and said, "Why are you staring at that
blonde woman with the big tits sitting over there?"
"You're crazy! !I didn't even notice her
big tits." I replied. "So why are you still staring at her??" "She's got no panties on."...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
|
|
Short Joke 9/4/2019
What did one condom say to the other condom as they walked
past a gay bar? <br><br>
<br><br>
Wanna get shit faced? 🤣🤣🤣
0 Comments, 3 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/4/2019
Last night my wife wore a police uniform in bed and said,
"you've been arrested for being good in bed!"
<br><br>
90 seconds later the charges were dropped due to lack of
evidence...
1 Comments, 7 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
|
|
Panda 9/4/2019
A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can
get a little action for the night. The bartender motions
to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back
to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves.
The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house.
"You owe me money, " she says. "For what?"
The woman rolls her eyes and explains, ...
0 Comments, 38 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
|
|
A boy 9/4/2019
A little boy and his friends are being called bastards and
bitches by bullies at school. The boy goes home and asks,
"Dad, what are bastards and bitches?" And his
dad replies, "Bitches are ladies and bastards are
gentlemen." Then the boy goes upstairs to see his
mom. As he enters the room, he accidentally drops a perfume
bottle, and his mom says, "Shit!" "Mom, ...
1 Comments, 34 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
|
|
Jokes 9/3/2019
What are your favorite dirty jokes
0 Comments, 3 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
|
