4TH OF JULY
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Posted:Jul 17, 2019 3:01 pm
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 3:59 pm
1332 Views
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My 4th of July Wish Is That ALL OF YOU - are partying ur ass off with not a care in the world .and may the BOAT GODS BLESS YOU WITH SAFE PASSAGE - One of you has been in labor all day and just delivered the most beautiful BOI and i yearn for the island - HATS OFF TO G'ma !!! i know one of you is hurting beyond what i pray any of you will ever feel - i know that pain and here for you ... Someone from the past showed and you are doing so good so proud of you - Its amateur weekend ill be on the lake late night and tomorrow - BOATING IS THE MOST DANGEROUS SPORT IN THE WORLD AND IT KILLS MORE PEOPLE THAN ALL OTHER SPORTS COMBINED EVERY YEAR AND WHOEVER IS AT THE HELM IS RESPONSIBLE - not that old or a pussy - will be running the 1 mph fountain later this week .... But after the crashes and drownings yesterday and the births and deaths in my life.... n Petey gonna sit this one .... PETEY ON POINT
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BEWARE THE NARCISSIST NEVER LOOK INTO THEIR EYES
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Posted:Jun 28, 2019 12:16 am
Last Updated:Jul 17, 2019 3:02 pm
2061 Views
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KITTY TRIED TO WARN ME AND I WOULDN'T LISTEN - 75% of narcissists are men. I'm not a narcissist - I've owned a biz a biz all my life and I'm allergic to dumb - I break out in severe sarcasm - I'm a fucking asshole but I care - I care way too much - I was a single parent at 22 and I went on to raise other peoples adult because I never lost the need to nurture...I've had two male best friends who were narcissists - one took his life at 23 while I was waiting on him in my attorneys office to turn himself in for stealing $500k - he was an absolute genius - it fucked me up I blamed myself for years. The other was also genius his MO was wealthy women - he almost cost me my life by lying to cover his ass to someone who was in the middle of a $25mm divorce, After 23 yr old sam my biggest fear was 40 year old Chris would also take his life - I lost that fear because I would of killed him after what he did to me... but this isn't about those two its about a female narcissists.... its the 51 days - the BPD post below ... I missed it entirely it was not BPD ... OMFG i was lured into a tangled web of lies and deceit by an evil entity ... a female ted bundy wanna be ... she gained control of my mind... and she gained control of someone else's mind , someone close to me who attempted to physically harm me in a psycho frenzy knife in hand in my home and she brought the primordial instinct within me out - the demons I locked deep in my soul ... I'm strong I broke free and kept my demons in check sending them back to the dark hole in my soul .... and it took a few days for this realization.... she gained control of me with three words "I LOVE YOU" - I'm going skip the story ... I'm going to plagiarize in the hope that this might save someone else's life ..... I JUST LIVED THIS FOR 51 DAYS - IF YOU ARE IN THIS SITUATION - GET OUT - LEAVE EVERYTHING AND GO - IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE - FIND ME I'LL RESCUE YOU IF YOU CAN PROVE TO ME THIS IS HAPPENING TO YOU - I'm literally stunned - I never believed anyone even a trained hypnotist could do this to me - it was mind control - It cost me a 15 yr friend/biz relationship and almost cost me my life and read the BPD post below- I was still mesmerized...she could do no wrong in my eyes ... a life long friend of hers I had never met contacted me concerned for my safety and I still didn't get it ... FML .... this is so fucked up - I never saw it coming.....
Dear Codependent Partner,
What I’m about to say is not something I’d ever say or admit (to you), because to do so would end the winner-takes-all-game that is my main source of pleasure in life — one that effectively keeps you carrying my load in our relationship.
And that’s the whole point.
When I say “I love you” I mean that I love how hard you work to make me feel like your everything, that I am the focus of your life, that you want me to be happy, and that I’ll never be expected to do the same.
I love the power I have to take advantage of your kindness and intentions to be nice, and the pleasure I derive when I make myself feel huge in comparison to you, taking every opportunity to make you feel small and insignificant. (I feel huge in comparison because, to me, these “desires” are evidence you’re weak, feeble in mind and inferior, and deserve to be treated accordingly!)
I love the feeling it gives me thinking of you as weak, vulnerable, emotionally crazy, and my biggest source of pleasure is having you to look down on with scorn … because, in my view, your childlike desires, innocence and gullibility is what proves your weakness and inferiority.
I love the way I feel knowing that, through the use of gaslighting, and other mind-game tactics, what you want to discuss or address will never happen, and I love this “power” to train you to feel “crazy” for even asking or bringing up issues that don’t interest me, effectively, ever lowering your expectations of me and what I’m capable of giving you, while I up mine of you.
I love how easy it is to keep your sole focus on alleviating my pain (never yours!), and that, regardless what you do, you’ll never make me feel good enough, loved enough, respected enough, appreciated enough, and so on. (Misery loves company.)
(It’s not about the closeness, empathy, emotional connection you want, or what I did that hurt or embarrassed you, or how little time I spend engaged with you or the , and so on. It’s about my status and doing my job to keep you in your place, in pain, focused on feeling my pain, blocking you from feeling valued in relation to me. I’m superior and entitled to all the pleasure, admiration, and comforting between us, remember?)
“I love you” means I love the way I feel when you are with me, more specifically, regarding you as a piece of property I own, my possession. Like driving a hot car, I love the extent to which you enhance my status in the eyes of others, letting them know that I’m top dog, and so on. I love thinking others are jealous of my possessions.
I love the power I have to keep you working hard to prove your love and devotion, wondering what else you need to do to “prove” your loyalty.
“I love you” means I love the way I feel when I’m with you. Due to how often I hate and look down on others in general, the mirror neurons in my brain keep me constantly experiencing feelings of self-loathing; thus, I love that I can love myself through you, and also love hating you for my “neediness” of having to rely on you or anyone for anything.
I love that you are there to blame whenever I feel this “neediness”; feeling scorn for you seems to protect me from something I hate to admit, that I feel totally dependent on you to “feed” my sense of superiority and entitlement, and to keep my illusion of power alive in my mind.
(Nothing makes me feel more fragile and vulnerable than not having control over something that would tarnish my image and superior status, such as when you question “how” I treat you, as if you still don’t understand that getting you to accept yourself as an object for my pleasure, happy regardless of how I treat you, or the — is key proof of my superiority, to the world. You’re my possession, remember? It’s my job to teach you to hate and act calloused toward those “crazy” things that only “weak” people need, such as “closeness” and “emotional stuff;” and by the way, I know this “works” because my childhood taught me to do this to myself inside.)
It makes me light up with pleasure (more proof of my superiority) that I can easily get you flustered, make you act “crazy” over not getting what you want from me, make you repeat yourself, and say and do things that you’ll later hate yourself for (because of your “niceness”!). Everything you say, any hurts or complaints you share, you can be sure, I’ll taunt you with later, to keep you ever-spinning your wheels, ever trying to explain yourself, ever doubting yourself and confused, trying to figure out why I don’t “get” it.
(There’s nothing to get! To break the code, you’d have to look through my lens, not yours! It’s my job to show complete disinterest in your emotional needs, hurts, wants, and to train, dismiss and punish accordingly, until you learn your “lesson,” that is: To take your place as a voiceless object, a possession has no desire except to serve my pleasure and comfort, and never an opinion on how it’s treated!)
(That you can’t figure this out, after all the ways I’ve mistreated you, to me, is proof of my genetic superiority. In my playbook, those with superior genes are never kind, except to lure and snare their victims!)
I love that I can make you feel insecure at the drop of a hat, especially by giving attention to other women (perhaps also others in general, friends, family members, , etc., the list is endless). What power this gives me to put on public displays of what you don’t get from me, to taunt and make you beg for what I easily give to others, wondering why it’s so easy to give what you want to others, to express feelings or affection, to give compliments, that is, when it serves my pleasure (in this case, to watch you squirm).
I love the power I have to get you back whenever you threaten to leave, by throwing a few crumbs your way, and watching how quickly I can talk you into trusting me when I turn on the charm, deceiving you into thinking, this time, I’ll change.
“I love you” means I need you because, due to the self-loathing I carry inside, I need someone who won’t abandon me that I can use as a punching bag, to make myself feel good by making them feel bad about themselves. (This is how I pleasure myself, and the way I numb, deny the scary feelings I carry inside that I hope to never admit, ever. I hate any signs of weakness in me, which is why I hate you, and all the “nice” weaklings I view as inferior, stupid, feeble, and so on.)
“I love you” means that I love fixing and shaping your thoughts and beliefs, being in control of your mind, so that you think of me as your miracle and savior, a source of life and sustenance you depend on, and bouncing back to, like gravity, no matter how high you try to fly away or jump.
I love that this makes me feel like a god, to keep you so focused (obsessed…) with making me feel worshiped and adored, sacrificing everything for me to prove yourself so that I don’t condemn or disapprove of you, seeking to please none other, and inherently, with sole rights to administer rewards and punishments as I please.
I love how I can use my power to keep you down, doubting and second-guessing yourself, questioning your sanity, obsessed with explaining yourself to me (and others), professing your loyalty, wondering what’s wrong with you (instead of realizing that … you cannot make someone “happy” who derives their sense of power and pleasure from feeling scorn for the weaklings who let me take advantage of them … like you!).
“I love you” means I love the way I feel when I see myself through your admiring eyes, that you’re my feel-good drug, my dedicated audience, my biggest fan and admirer, and so on. Training you to look up to me, never question me, and bow down with pleasure to serve me as your never-erring, omniscient, omnipotent source of knowledge is my end-goal — my drug of choice.
(You may have noticed how touchy I am at any sign that you would question me; I hate how fragile I feel in such moments, worried that failing to train you in silent submission could tarnish my image in the world, something I care about more than anything else, even life itself!)
And I love that, no matter how hard you beg and plead for my love and admiration, to feel valued in return, it won’t happen, as long as I’m in control. Why would I let it, when I’m hooked on deriving pleasure from depriving you of anything that would make you feel worthwhile, be wind beneath your wings, risking you’d fly away from me? Besides, it gives me great pleasure to not give you what you yearn for, the tenderness you need and want, and to burst your every dream and bubble, then telling myself, “I’m no fool.”
I love that I can control your attempts to get “through” to me, by controlling your mind, in particular, by shifting the focus of any “discussion” onto what is wrong with you, your failure to appreciate and make me feel loved, good enough, etc. — and of course, reminding you of all I’ve done for you, and how ungrateful you are.
I love how skillfully I manipulate others’ opinions of you as well, getting them to side with me as the “good” guy, and side against you as the “bad” guy, portraying you as incapable of making me happy or manly — or as needy, never satisfied, always complaining, selfish and controlling, and the like.
I love how easy it is for me to say “No!” to what may give you credit, or increase your sense of value and significance in relation to me, with endless excuses; and that instead, I return your focus to my unfulfilled needs and wants, my discomforts or pain.
I love feeling that I own your thoughts, your ambitions, and ensuring the only wants and needs you focus on are ones that serve my pleasure and comfort.
I love being a drug of choice you “have to” have, regardless of how I mistreat you, despite all the signs that your addiction to me is draining the energy from your life, and that you are at risk of losing more and more of what you most value and hold dear, to include those you move love and love and support you in return.
I love that I can isolate you from others who may nourish you, and break the spell of thinking they ever loved you; I love making you mistrust them, so that you conclude no one else really wants to put up with you, but me.
I love that I can make you feel I’m doing you a favor by being with you and throwing a few crumbs your way. Like a vacuum, the emptiness inside me is in constant need of sucking the life and breath and vitality you, and your determination to be kind, brings to my life, which I crave like a drug that can never satisfy, that I fight to hoard, and hate the thought of sharing.
While I hate you and my addiction to your caring attention, my neediness keeps me craving to see myself through your caring eyes, ever ready to admire, adore, forgive, make excuses for me, and fall for my lies and traps. (I could never appreciate or value you for this, how could I? I hate myself for needing these caring, yet unmanly gestures, which disgust me.)
I love that you keep telling me how much I hurt you, not knowing that, to me, this is like a free marketing report. It lets me know how effective my tactics have been to keep you in pain, focused on alleviating my pain — so that I am ever the winner in this competition — ensuring that you never weaken (control) me with your love- and emotional-closeness stuff.
In short, when I say “I love you,” I love the power I have to remain a mystery that you’ll never solve because of what you do not know (and refuse to believe), that: the only one who can win this zero-sum-winner-takes-all game is the one who knows “the rules.” My sense of power rests on ensuring you never succeed at persuading me to join you in creating a mutually-kind relationship because, in my worldview, being vulnerable, emotionally expressive, kind, caring, empathetic, innocent are signs of weakness, proof of inferiority.
Thanks, but no thanks, I’m resolved to stay on my winner-takes-all ground, ever in competition for the prize, seeing you as my fiercest competitor, gloating in my narcissistic ability to be heartless, callous, cold, calculating … and proud, to ensure my neediness for a sense of superiority isn’t hampered.
Forever love-limiting,
Your narcissist
PS: I really, really need help — but you CANNOT do this work for me (not without making things worse for both of us!). Remember, we’re co-addicted to each other, so we’d never go to an addict to get help, right?
Only a therapist, with experience in this, stands a chance, and even then, only if I choose to really, really, really let him/her! (That’s because I’d have to face my greatest fear that, not only am I not superior to those I regard as inferior, and thus not entitled to make and break rules as I please, but I’d also have to own — that my own actions, thoughts and beliefs about myself and others — are THE main cause of the suffering in my life … and changing them, THE solution. I could not would not ever want to do this for the sole reason that, from my worldview, only the feeble-minded and weak do such things! Death is better, than losing.)
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BPD
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Posted:Jun 21, 2019 9:54 pm
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 3:59 pm
1505 Views
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She wasn’t any more or any less perfect than I was... we both had issues - I learned to control my mind - my demons were locked deep in my soul - she danced with hers ....she told me from the beginning she wanted to live alone in town and perhaps for the first time in my life I’m not the least bit sad it ended I’m grateful to life it happened.... It was beyond psychotic it was BPD borderline Personality Disorder for which I am a magnet,,,, It was brutally toxic, she hit me and called me names daily .... it was the best sex I've ever had in my life we were both natural freaks as long sex is at that level I can justify anything .....I’m not the same person I was 51 days ago. Through her abuse she subconsciously taught to me to love and accept people just the way they are ... she taught me not to sweat the small stuff and its all small stuff if you always remember the fact that ur going to wake up with that person and it makes all things petty irrelevant. She proved to me that one day you will meet someone who can do no wrong in your eyes and when your buttons are being pushed to the limit you have a choice - you can react with anger or react with love ... and its a really good feeling to go through absolute hell with someone and know you never once raised your hand or your voice because somehow you knew they need that to heal.... she deserved more than I could ever give her and my life is not conducive to anything but hard work and harder fun... and don’t be a hater if someones work is more fun than yours .., she taught me that serial monogamy and polyamory can not only coexist but be a beautiful thing... it really does taste better if you share ... never let moral dilemmas from societal conditioning effect your judgement of people .... take the time to look into eyes of the man in mirror and remember how many times you’ve said I'm sorry and then hear those words and hold that person and without saying it and looking deep in their eyes let them feel they never have to say that and those two words will change your life forever esp when its something you thought you could never forgive for and after all these years you finally understand that love and forgiveness are one and the same .... and if you are fortunate enough to ever reach a level of intimacy where your souls truly touch never say anything to anyone else but that person and it becomes sacred and remains in your heart forever ... I’m not going to post a pic .., those of you that love me and those of you that hate me know who she is ..,but I know what she’s going through ... you can let someone go on with their journey and still love and care about them and you can help them and never see them or expect anything in return ... true love transcends time and space ... you can be with someone once and they are with you forever ... im not trying to understand any of it for there are things we were never meant to understand ... just be happy and feel truly blessed that you experienced something most people search for all their life never realizing that it was inside them the entire time and somewhere out there is that person who will reach into your soul and change your life forever and it truly was the most unlikely person in the strangest place at the most inopportune time and I will always love and care about her and I never needed her to love and care about me to make that true ... its a beautiful day to love yourself ...
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PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
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Posted:May 4, 2019 2:44 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 3:59 pm
1451 Views
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She sought perfection .... And I Searched For Love .... Unfortunately....there is no perfect love.... We were light years apart yet so close we knew each other's thoughts... I let her hurt me to see I could still feel ... the cold world in which I live had frozen my heart .... her hypodermic infliction pierced my soul... I became addicted to the pain... what was killing me eventually kept me alive... and I began to transmogrify .... weakness became strength... emotion reverted to instinct .... I was no longer human .... a million years of evolution gone in the blink of an eye ....
Dec 15 2015
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THEHOT IN PSYCHOTIC
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Posted:May 4, 2019 2:09 am
Last Updated:Jun 27, 2019 10:01 pm
1793 Views
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I was the fun in dysFUNctional .... She was the hot in psycHOTic .... she was 21wild and free as the wind .....I was 40 and on the roll of a lifetime .. It was mid summer 110 in the palapa hut and the margaritas flowed in sync to the music and beauty of lake life .. I was cutting through the CNC crowd like a warrior just off the yacht,full entourage in tow in true fully imbibed form ......the baddest boyz on the lake .... I saw her hair .... Mesmerizing ...like Sirens calling me into a treacherous peril ... Past the point of no return... liquid courage - full throttle baby - nothing ventured - nothing gained ... I just know her boyfriends gonna walk out that restroom right about .....now!!!! I spun around military style through my crew and straight to her ... I firmly turn her around and kiss her gently ...slowly and the world stopped spinning ....our bodies became one and when I looked into her eyes I knew this was going to be one hell of a rodeo ... "wanna come party on my yacht ! " "hell yeah !" "Get on ! Piggy Back Style spinning through the crowd like at a carnival " wheeeese"!!!! Laughing and spinning ... Spinning ...Out the door and through the parking lot and down the boat ramp .....and here it comes "Tara !! Tara !!! ... The boyfriend I was hoping to deck coming out of the restroom became a self.Fulfilling prophecy .....I wait til he's arm length drop her safely to the ground and pull back to drop him...."NO DUDE ! I'm her sisters boyfriend - she has my dope !" I smile "give him his shit baby girl - we got plenty" wheeeeeee ! Wheeeee!!!!! Like a cirque Solei choreographed routine all the way to the boat . ITS ON ! a turbulent frenzy of passion I can taste her soul and feel every nerve .... From the window to the wall !!!! Her hard naked body sweat moist enraged marathon style and it has to be a dream that will last forever ..... making love to this incredible sexual goddess within minutes of what will always seem a preordained glitch in the alignment of time alcohol and fate ...... My crew wanders slowly onboard and BAM! she runs naked right in to my mom ... an integral part of the entourage in those days which seem now to be some other lifetime when everything was perfect and life only got better ..she giggled and my mom smiled and we all drank and partied like there was no tomorrow and life would never end ... The next morning at brunch with mom , I gave her keys to my suburban, a credit card and map to la Casa ... The kisses only got better "I hope I see you again in my bed forever " I had never before or since so passionately loved .....life will take you anywhere you want to go if you are willing to pay the price ... And the price was my heart and soul .. We built an empire ... it lasted 5 years... I walked away and spent 6 moths of self exile in the bahamas but I was never same ..... I was stronger smarter and prepared me for the partner to come .... the final partner the final empire and then I'll do the right thing and die - au revoir mi cheri
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IT’S ALL OVER BUT THE LAUGHING
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Posted:May 4, 2019 2:00 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 3:59 pm
1474 Views
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Sometimes all you can do is laugh. It's all over but the laughing. It's laughing time again. I laughed myself to sleep. You'll laugh and laugh. I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you laugh. Please don't laugh. If they ever make you laugh again I'll ....... It ain't my first rodeo and it makes me laugh that I thought might be my last. I was told the only way not to get burned in a triangle was not to stick your hand in the fire. I'm smarter than the average bear but I had to use analytical geometry to figure out this wasn't a triangle - I'm still calculating sides hecta decta treinta mother fucking ocho... I don't regret the discovery and I thank those close to me have the ability to look where others can't and I'm sincerely fortunate to have those who simply hugged me and didn't say a word. I'm lucky - in the end I'm always lucky and I've never won anything - I fucking earned it. It's going to be an incredible summer I'm fortunate to have really good honest loyal people close to me and I can't let them down - all for one - one for all - we are only as strong as our weakest link, those immortal words ring in my ear - toughen up buttercup and yeah I'm gonna start carry a sewing needle in my wallet and break myself of a really dumb habit - I'm too smart, got too many years left, im sittin left seat and I gotta keep the nose up..... I know I'll look back and laugh and wonder what the fuck I was thinking. Anyway - WHY THE FUCK AREN'T WE BOATING !!!!
April 26 2016
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Drugs and Alcohols Squared
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Posted:May 1, 2019 8:03 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 3:59 pm
1750 Views
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Physics Boys and Girls - its theoretical mathematic philosophy where the reality of time and space can be altered until your energy equals the matter of drugs and alcohols squared at the speed of lights out ....sober sucks cuz the math always remains the same.......
Lit 🔥 la casa jan 2019
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And The Line of Coke Goes Down Real Slow .....
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Posted:May 1, 2019 7:53 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 3:59 pm
1642 Views
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The final pages .....ease off the throttle and draft.... it all flys by .....relax your grip and breathe .....frame by frame heart beat by heart beat second by second its down to days .......just hold on stay off the wall and stay centrifugal ..... close your eyes fear nothing and believe in yourself more than ever before ......- u started this chapter alone and you're going to finish it alone ....its the way it had to be written.
Somewhere beyond the Horizon April 20
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SOMEWHERE BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH
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Posted:Apr 29, 2019 5:23 pm
Last Updated:Jul 4, 2019 3:22 pm
2101 Views
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We were open and honest because we were on the same level and understood things other people didn’t. Our attraction screamed louder than our demons. I knew the reality but wasn’t afraid..... its been over 5 YRS and on January 26th 2019 i was overwhelmed with thoughts of you. I tried to find you on fb and then for some unknown reason I posted something referenced about what lies between life and death and posted a pic of you i took - you were waist deep in the frigid water back to the camera and i wrote “i fucking miss you” several people replied with condolences but i didnt know Jenna .... i want to believe it was you on the 26th because IT was the day of your funeral ....it was your issues made us close i had lived it - i survived it and i understood it and as i told you our paths crossed for reason ...[NOTE neither Jenna nor I had ever done the drug mentioned in the Jan 26 post and it is neither of our issues and our issues are not the same out of respect those things remain forever private I do not know why i referenced the drug if someone does please message me ] ... a few days later a mutual friend neither of us ever knew we had told me about a kidnap and murder of two of his close friends. Tonight OUR friend spoke again but said JENNA - and I said oh my god no no no ... tell me its not Jenna XXXXX .... but i knew it was ... ... better now Jenna a different person all the things were contributing to my issues are out of my life debt free I traveled i spent time with my i study health nutrition and alternative medicine I lost 25 lbs i realize its a life commitment not a goal but im almost whole Jenna . so proud of you - you did it Jenna very few people will ever know what you overcame and how much strength and courage it took your masters degree your your life . I saw your current pics i could feel energy and happiness. Jenna ur an inspiration to everyone thats ever gone thru what you have ...,I never told you I was falling in love with you. I held on as long as I could as you know it almost cost me my life...I understood you and i never regretted our moment in time. ive got a lot of pics of us my favorite has been center on the living room wall for ...out of respect for your family not going to post them. This is not my best writing the tears are messing the keyboard ill write you something special later. Thanks Jenna I know where going now and I know I have what it takes to get there - I know i will see you on the other side ....... WHV III please dont comment about the past but thanks for saving my life I wish we could of saved hers as well
January 26 2019 Post
THIS IS A SONG ABOUT BEING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS ISSUES CUZ WITHOUT LOVE THERE IS ONLY LIFE AND WITHOUT LIFE THERE IS ONLY DEATH AND SOMEWHERE BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH THERE IS HEROIN .... busted flat in baton rouge waitin on a traiN and i was feelin as faded as my jeans ... i fucking miss u ....
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THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA
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Posted:Apr 29, 2019 4:04 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2019 7:41 am
2107 Views
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...We all c o m e and go in this world the same way ...with nothing... to gain the world and lose yourself remains nothing... in the end what we have taken is irrelevant it is only what we have given matters for we take nothing with us... but give not to those who ask - give to those who n e e d deserve and earn .... yes, i m self made- large waterfront clear home, fleet of cars, boats and RVs ability to travel at will but all of tha t pales in meaning and comparison to the smile and laughter of or the elderly and the greatest thing you can ever give is of yourself ... c*me into my world and allow me to experience yours and perhaps the thin line between destiny and fate will collide and our hearts will beat as one .., I have never married because I never found the person who searches forme and if I miss you in this life I will be with you in the next .... dont be late .....Montreaux Switzerland July 2018
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LOVE KILLS
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Posted:Apr 29, 2019 3:42 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2019 7:38 am
2241 Views
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When you really love someone nothing else matters .... No one can hurt you unless you let them.... In an open relationship no one gets hurt ..... I know none of is true but neither is true love - its a fantasy we want to believe in - never trust anyone with more than you are and prepared to lose - protect yourself all cost - always expect the unexpected - know your enemy better than you know yourself - anyone can turn on you anytime for any reason, the person closest to you is the person can hurt you the most - CYA - expect the worst and they will rarely let you down - never get even - stay true to your beliefs - tighten your circle brace for impact - have a back u p for your back u p - see it coming..... it cant hurt you if you accept it as part of life - .... p-a-y attention - there is the rare exception it will be the most unlikely person in the strangest place at the most inopportune time then u will understand why ...u will realize all the pain was self inflicted because you settled for less than your absolute soul mate - the person who makes you laugh as hard as they make you orgasm
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SUGAR DADDY MENTORING THE WAY TO THE TOP
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Posted:Apr 29, 2019 10:14 am
Last Updated:Jun 27, 2019 11:02 pm
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REAL ????? I've been on my own since ran a biz since fourteen , I raised as a single parent at 22 (22 gks 2 otw 1st ggk Bryan iV due 5/31 the are just happy to be old enough I no longer date their friends) , did time for bogus politically motivated homicide charge GOOGLE ME DON'T BELIEVE A WORD - ITS ALL TRUE , whereas i had some time so I earned 6 academic degrees 3 technicals all 4.0 high honors incl TX A&M BBA at 40 2000 ....I read 900 books I CLEPPED classes scoring 99%percentile in more than 1/2 earning two semesters credit. And when I walked out I made $250k in 90 days - I got it all back the house the cars the yacht in 90 days .. it took years to figure out the person I was,,,,the hardworking dedicated single parent died in there.... and I would never be person again.... I have a degree in culinary arts and I'm certified in every area by the national restaurant association - all looks cool AF on my kitchen walls but I've never worked in a restaurant (as do the degrees in my BR) My Bohemian Grandparents taught me how to cook and drink beer at 5 bout the same time I started my first entrepreneurial venture for which I received weekly beatings ....they said when it came to making money I was incorrigible. ... I would much later discover it was one of only three natural talents I would ever possess..... find what it is you love to do my dear and do it with passion and sincerity and never ever quit there will be trials and tribulations straight out of JOB ... stay true to yourself and you will become the best...First Name Greatest ,,,, Last Name Ever... and the money will gravitate to you like a fountain flowing like an avalanche coming a mountain and if you are REAL the money will have no meaning its only how you keep score ..... Read Kiplings IF - then memorize it.... Read T Roosevelts "It's not the critic counts" memorize it.... when it hurts so fuc king bad you want to fucking Die -NEVER QUIT !!! - recite those poems over and over and never forget - its only weakness leaving your body and being replaced by greatness.... but MOST IMPORTANTLY and if we never meet for whatever reason....ONLY REMEMBER THIS - THE ONLY THING TRULY MATTERS IN THIS LIFE IS HAPPINESS - YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH HAPPY..... I've been doing arrangements 20 yrs... I didn't understand it at first I thought it was midlife or the adolescence I never had when two 18 yrs old girls were fist fighting on my yacht over me...but through therapy I learned an older lover/mentor is a natural healthy phase of almost every young women's life.... it seems my issues were much deeper I had turned my entire life into a defense mechanism so I would never be in another relationship again ... RULE #1 HAPPINESS - RULE #2 NEXT !!! WHAT AM I SEARCHING FOR ??? WHAT EVERY GREAT MASTER SEARCHES FOR ...AN APPRENTICE...FOR IF HE FAILS TO FIND ONE BEFORE HE LEAVES HIS JOURNEY THEN HIS ENTIRE LIFE'S WORK WAS IN VAIN...... BRYAN W FERGUSON SR B1... EL TROPICANA HOTEL SAN ANTONIO RIVER WALK TH APRIL 2019 .... en vino veritas
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